The Darkness of Hope
by Kia Sara
Summary: Snapes childhood love disappeared 20 years ago. Well, guess what? She is back, and she has some secrets of her own.
1. Default Chapter

All characters (save one) are sole property of J.K. Rowling. I claim no ownership, etc., etc. I am merely borrowing them. Thanks so much.  
  
Chapter One  
  
It was well past one in the morning when Dumbledore watched with anxiety as Madam Pomfrey quietly pulled the curtain back from the bed in the far corner of the infirmary.  
  
"I thought this was the most private location I could give her," she whispered hesitantly. "I do think the child will want to be alone when she wakes. Poor thing."  
  
"Indeed Pompy. You are quite right she will need her solitude. This young woman will have much to learn, discover, and heal from. I expect the normal chaos of the school will only cause her more grief in the beginning, however amusing it may become later."  
  
He straightened his glasses glancing down the isle to where several first years lay sleeping quietly. They were recent victims of the Weasley twins new concoction "Mind Maximizing Malt Balls." intended to allow the mind to absorb more information at a rapid fire pace to aide in what is commonly referred to as "cramming." Unfortunately they only succeeded in engorging the brain to three times it usual size. First years, still gullible enough to test products from the escaped students, where presently feeling the full impact. "I trust that you were able to catch all the excess gray matter leaking from their ears in time? Their sculls do seem to be reducing in size." He mused smiling rather sheepishly.  
"Oh yes Headmaster," Pomfrey replied holding her hand up to her cheek in exhaustion, "I must say this is the worst those twins have done yet, and they are not even students here any more. Well, here she is Headmaster. Still unconscious I am afraid. It must be the aftermath of quite a strong curse. There are traces of dark magic in her blood but nothing large enough to label what exactly was done to her."  
Dumbledore stepped gently beyond the barrier of the parted curtain and his eyes fell on his old pupil. She was ragged looking, thin and bruised, but aside from that she was utterly the same. The same pale ivory skin almost transparent. Her long red curls cascade across her pillow in an unruly and unkempt fashion. Her brows which from his memory always wore the expression of mischief, laughter, and slightly eternal confusion are now knitted together in physical pain along with what he interpreted as emotional resilience. The only truly astonishing aspect of her appearance is her age. Has almost twenty years had no affect on the girl at all? She remained the fifteen year old girl he knew so many years ago. There is not one single wrinkle, or gray hair. Her face and figure has all the structure of eternal youth.  
  
"Whatever it was," Pomfrey continued, " I doubt her body may every fully recover from the force of it. Despite its obvious outer charm."  
  
**************************************************************************** ** Snape woke with a start raising a trembling hand to wipe the sweat that dripped down his face away from his eyes. His vision blurred unaccustomed to the vast darkness of the room. Snapping them shut he dug the heels of his hands into his eye sockets so powerfully that a dull pain radiated through his head and splashes of brightly colored lights appeared on the inside of his eyelids.  
The nightmare returned like clockwork. Every night for the past fortnight his precious sleep had been cut short by the terrifying visions in his dreams and the horrific feeling of fear and emptiness it left in the pit of his stomach. Hastily throwing the heavy covers off his perspiring body he let out a sigh as it met with the cold night air leaving goose bumps over every inch of exposed flesh. He stumbled as he swung his legs over the side of his large four-poster bead and made his way to his private bathroom. After splashing his face with what felt like gallons of icy water Professor Severus Snape examined his reflection in the mirror. There was a single large crack down the middle splitting his image in half and slightly distorting his proportions. His black hair was drenched and dripping while his long hooked nose had a minuscule river of water flowing off the edge and soaking his robes as it fell. He did not bother to dry his face just stood observing the effects of his nightmare. His almost ebony colored almond shaped eyes were bloodshot and unearthly looking at the moment. He felt detached from it all. Despite the sorrow and fear that still clung to his stomach like a large claw he stared at himself in the mirror as if watching someone else go through the emotions he was sure were actually plaguing himself.  
"It looks very appropriate at least," he finally murmured to his double. "Such an ugly cruel cur should be haunted by something continuously. There is evil behind his eyes." His face contorted in compressed rage as he turned around leaving the bathroom and flung himself forcefully onto the plush green chaise lounge in his sitting room. His graceful white hand groped under his seat searching for something. He found it, pulling a large, worn, leather-bound journal out he dropped it onto his lap. He closed his eyes to compose himself, and slowly opened the cover turning the first page. There was a letter pressed inside. The small page was filled with a messy scrawl as if written in a hurry and it was worn from continuous reading. Severus stroked the page thinking the dreams were at least worth the memory of her. A small sad smile broke from his lips. He jerked back to reality his expression turning blank. He thrust letter back into the book and threw it across the room. "Pathetic!" he spat, sneering to himself, "What has happened to you. You romantic fool. Stop dwelling on the past, you ruined that past. She is gone and it is your fault you slimy git! Besides you are far better off unattached," He chuckled "you would not have lasted. She would not have stayed despite all her bravado and oaths." This was blurted out meekly a stark contrast to the anger of the previous statements.  
  
Knowing sleep was not longer a feasible option Severus squinted in the direction of the clock. The numbers fell into their proper places slowly as his still sleepy eyes made out the time: one o'clock in the morning. 'Wonderful' he thought, 'I shall stay up all night grading papers again and then spend the rest of the day in a groggy stupor, with a splitting headache, trying to keep the students as silent as possible. That is almost laughable; as if Gryffindors even possess the ability to keep quiet let alone go one day without inciting disaster.'  
  
He was startled out of his papers an hour later by a loud knock at his door. Confused Severus made his was to the source of the noise unlatching the door and pulling it open. There stood Dumbledore wearing a pleasant however weary and worried expression.  
  
"I am so sorry to disturb you this late Severus. Were you asleep?" he did not wait for the younger wizard to reply, "I believe there is something I need to make you aware of. No doubt it will be upsetting but..." Dumbledore trailed off and gestured for Professor Snape to follow him down the dark corridor leading out of the Dungeons.  
  
For being as ancient as he looked Dumbledore moved with a swiftness that alerted Severus to the nature of this late night visit. Dumbledore was worried. The tall dark wizard racked his brain for a clue to what the nature of this worry could be. Finding nothing within his own mind he searched for hints in the movements of his elder crossing the length of the castle steadily in front of himself.  
  
When thay at last reached to entrance to the infirmary Dumbledore paused looking Severus squarely in the face said very calmly, " I do hope you will not do anything rash"  
  
The expression of utter confusion and irritation that flashed through Snape's eyes made Dumbledore lower his head and his gaze upward became penetrating "Severus, the seriousness of what I am about to show you will make my attitude clear" With that he swung the door open and proceeded down the center isle of the room to a small curtained area in the back. Just as they grew near to opening the curtain it swung apart in front of them and Dumbledore was face to face with a terrified looking Madam Pomfrey.  
"I was just coming to look for you!" She gasped leading him inside, "She is going through some sort of attack, it is as if her own body is attacking itself, I do not know what to do!"  
  
Severus' curiosity was certainly peaked and he stretched his gaze attempting to see who the victim was that Dumbledore gently leaned over waving his wand and uttering calming spells. The little of the girl he could see was shaking fiercely and letting out audible gasps and cries in time with her writhing body. As the headmaster grasped a small white hand in his own and began to mutter a powerful charm linking her heartbeat with his own attempting to steady its harsh rhythm, the girl slowly settled and her breathing returned to normal. Dumbledore turned his eyes looking much older all of the sudden and he stepped aside revealing the young girl whose face now bore dried tears, and her wet hair clinging matted to her face. A few drops of blood were visible from her nose and mouth. Still it was unmistakable. Severus felt his face fall then harden in rage. "YOU CANNOT EXPECT THIS OF ME!" every word flew like a dagger into the thick night air. Dumbledore merely straightened himself up and replied calmly "I expect nothing of you Severus. I simply thought you had a right to know. She was found in the Dark Forest last night. It is her; she bares the telltale scar on the her shoulder. I will no doubt have others to inform of her reappearance, but Severus I belive you should come to terms with the girl that lies before you. She is very much alive.  
"Whether her mental and emotional state will be in a similar condition I cannot say, but her body has been through a great ordeal. That much is certain. She will..." But Dumbledore could not finish because Snape advanced toward him with emotion tearing through his words. "I will not endure it! I cannot and if you brought me here expecting a miracle you will be sorely disappointed. I will not go through that again. It nearly killed me last time, or at least it should have." He stormed out of the room his robes billowing behind him.  
  
**************************************************************************** *************  
Severus sought the solitude of a deserted corridor. Hot tears were stinging his eyes causing him to cringe. He fought them back. It had been a good many years since he had allowed himself to succomb to his emotions and he was not about to start now.  
His body felt numb and the image of her face burned the inside of eyes. "Iris, you cannot be real," He whispered her name into the shadows and half expected himself to wake up from yet another dream. She was alive, but barely. He closed his eyes again and once again resolved to forget her. Despite her ghostly presence one room away he could not let her go again, and he could not hurt her again. His deeds and thoughts had betrayed what they once had. The Dark Lord would forever stand between them. It did not matter that Severus was no longer a Death Eater true to the cause. His past would eternally pollute his present and future. He felt the weight of the Dark Mark on his arm and the burden of all his years of service deep within his chest.  
The life he had made for himself was not a happy one, but it was just. Even if love were to present itself once again what right did he have to accept. The only gift he had to give was service and suffering. Standing tall again Severus' expression gre cold and hard.  
  
*A special THANK YOU to my very first reviewer! You are right my grammar is awful! :) I hope this version is a little better. I know it probably isn't. I'm working on the grammar skills folks, but I don't think it would be wise to promise something I doubt I can consistently deliver. I LOVE YOU ALL! 


	2. Memories and Mysteries

Once again, I have no ownership over any of J. K. Rowling's lovely characters. Only over Iris! (just a note. 'blah blah' means thoughts) it just got a little repetitive say "he thought"  
  
Chapter Two  
  
Snape allowed his attention to wonder. It had been useless to think he was capable of teaching today. The steady hum of the student's suppressed whispers became merely a backdrop to his own thoughts as he drifted farther into the recesses of his own memory.....................  
  
"Do you mind?" a voice chirped with laughter in the boys ear. He looked up to see a young Gryffendor girl he knew to be in her second year. Her long locks of unruly red hair were dangling hopelessly in her eyes, and she was holding the largest stack of books Severus had ever seen.  
  
"Is it all right if I sit here?" she grinned, "Sorry. I don't want to bother you, but everywhere else is full."  
  
He merely looked up at her in silence which she interpreted as an invitation.  
  
"Oh, thanks!" she breathed a sigh of relief as she plopped the books onto the table causing the stack to fall over and avalanche right into young man's lap.  
  
"OH GOD! I'm sorry. I do tend to just let things fall from my hands like that. I mean, well. They don't usually end up crushing some person I just met......butterfingers!" She stated in an uncomfortable pause.  
  
The girls red curls bobbed up and down as she quickly retrieved her books and placed them carefully back at the table.  
  
With her task finally completed she faced Severus and extended her hand laughing, "My name is Iris, I will be attacking you this evening and making you feel very uncomfortable. I didn't catch you name?"  
  
"Severus Snape, and I know who you are," the boy stared at her with mild irritation but obvious curiosity.  
  
"Oh." She seemed surprised and a little awkward. "Well, I'm pleased to finally meet you."  
  
Iris looked at Severus as if expecting him to say something in return. After a few moments of utter silence she smiled and turned back to her book , "I'll just let you get back to your work then. Thanks for catching my books."  
  
A few minutes later Iris turned to Snape once more. "Look I'm really sorry. I know I probably should not be asking you this since you well, appear to like your solitude and all, but do you happen to be any good at potions? I'm utterly desperate!"  
  
Snape was about to say that he did not feel like spending his free time giving tips to a Gryffindor when he looked up and saw the expression on her face. She smiled innocently at him and did in fact look a little desperate, as well as a little breathtaking. It was the first time he had noticed her eyes. They were deep pools of gray blue with tiny speckles of green around the edges. 'They don't look like normal eyes,' Severus thought to himself, 'it's like they look right through me.'  
  
"It's all right if you can't help. I understand. It's just I have had detention three nights this week already, and if I don't get this potion right by tomorrow I'm looking at a full weeks worth. I mean, I have tried. It's not like I haven't spent hundreds of hours devoted to this bloody potion as it is. I'm just stuck.  
  
"I'll probably fail. Then I'll be sent away and shunned by all wizard kind. I think Professor Hartche is a horribly wicked human being, I really do. She must have had all her feeling just sucked out of her. " The last half of this rather longwinded speech was stated more to herself than Severus, and it was said with such a strange comical sincerity that Severus could not help it when a chuckle escaped audibly from his usually solemn lips.  
  
She suddenly looked back at Severus laughing to her left as if she had completely forgotten he was there. A smile burst from her lips that seemed to erupt in laughter. "I do have a flair for the dramatic don't I?"  
  
Severus could not believe what he began blurting out, " What are we working on ?"  
  
Relief filled Iris's face as she jumped out of her seat "Really? OH THANK YOU!" The whole library turned and faced their direction. Iris audibly cleared her throat and sunk back into her seat wincing slightly One or two Gryffindors chortled and the room fell silent again. Iris smiled apologetically at Severus and he felt sure he was going to regret this..................  
  
Just then a large crash forced Severus' mind back to the present. The present where that dimwitted oaf of a boy Neville knocked his cauldron off the counter spilling its contents over several onlookers.  
  
"Oh for goodness sake, Mr. Longbottom. Do you think you can spend one day without raising havoc with you clumsiness?" Snape towered over the boy awaiting a response. " No, I suppose you can't. Clean up this mess immediately!"  
  
Turning around and observing the quiet rage of the rest of the Gryffindor clan Severus' eyes fell on Harry Potter's cauldron.  
  
"What exactly is that gray goo congealing in you cauldron Mr. Potter." Snape's words froze the air as they inched from his lips. "It certainly is not the completed assignment."  
  
Harry looked up into the professor's eyes displaying no fear.  
  
"Since you obviously show very little concern as to the correct completion of the potions I assign you; let us see how you feel about partaking in the damaged results." Severus did not know what made him say it. A potion could greatly harm someone if made incorrectly, but looking down at that defiant young boy made him terse with fury. "Go on Potter get on with it. We haven't got all day."  
  
************************ Harry felt his lunch rising in his throat. Snape was being even more cruel today. He had not even thought that was possible. Hermione shot him a sympathetic look as Snape once more urged the Harry to drink the gruesome mixture.  
  
'All right,' he thought 'you're on. It is you who will be punished if I get sick. With that Harry gulped down the poorly made potion............Nothing.  
  
After throwing a victorious look in Professor Snape's direction Harry watched as all the faces of his classmates grew pale and began to blur, one into the other, and finally the room turned black.  
  
****  
  
When Harry awoke he saw the wide eyes of Madam Pomfrey directly over his head.  
  
"Oh good your awake dear." She smiled and shoved a piece of chocolate into Harry's hand. "Eat this it will help you feel more yourself. That was a nasty little fainting spell I hear you took. Whatever was Professor Snape thinking making you drink that potion? You're quite lucky all it did was knock you out. I have examined you toughlrally you are free to go in the morning. We will just keep you here tonight just to be safe."  
  
Harry's stomach churned at the idea of spending another night in the infirmary. He felt as though half his life had been spent in the sickbed with one injury or another. He silently munched on his chocolate relishing the warm feeling it sent through his whole body.  
  
'Well,' he thought 'at least Snape is the one being blamed for this. One night of boredom is well worth Snape being reprimanded.' Harry allowed a sly smile to grow on his face as he looked around the familiar infirmary setting. 'Same as always. Me and several first years recovering from Fred and George.' It was then that he noticed the curtain drawn round one of the larger beds in the back of the room. 'Oh, I wonder who is hurt enough to need the privacy screen.'  
  
Harry's curiosity was only perked when he later heard Madam Pomfrey talking with someone behind the curtain of the mystery bed with the aide of the blessed extendable ears. "Well, She's got the Gryffindor spirit to pull her through. That counts for something Minerva."  
  
"Yes Pompey, I suppose it does. I only hope that will be enough." It was Professor McGonagall's voice. A Gryffindor was sick! 'Who could it possibly be?' The two women emerged from behind the privacy curtain. Harry quickly shoved the extendable ears under his pillow, and pretended to be asleep. The trouble with this plan was that the women spent so long talking outside of the curtain that Harry felt himself really drifting off.  
  
It was very late when Harry once again woke from his slumber. This time he immediately searched for any sign of Madam Pomfrey while he slid quietly out of bed. He tiptoed along the isle leading to the back of the room. For some strange unexplainable reason he was filled with both excitement and fear. Being very carefull he pulled the curtains apart and slid into the private chamber.  
  
There laying on a bed was a girl he had never seen at the school before. A girl who looked almost exactly like his mother.  
'Who is she?' Harry held his breathe backing out of the small chamber right into a body standing behind him.  
  
*A very special THANK YOU to SciFi129, my very first reviewer! You are right my grammar is awful! :) I hope this version is a little better. I know it probably isn't. Anyway, thank you for the review. You rock my world! 


	3. A Glimpse of the Past Part One

Chapter Three: A Glimpse of the Past (part one)  
  
"Hello?" Iris' musical voice filled the potions class room and Severus looked up to see her large blue eyes and miles of red hair peering nervously in from the doorway.  
  
"How did you manage to get Professor Hartche to let us use this room?" Iris made her way through the classroom and placed her large bag below the counter where Severus sat. "I can't even get her to call me by my right name."  
  
"I asked." Severus stated bluntly. He was beginning to regret this. Did she have to lean in so far over the cauldron? She is likely to set her hair on fire and then he would surely get detention for attempting arson on a young Gyffindor.  
  
As if reading his mind Iris gathered her hair into a large knot at the top of her head and secured it with a clip. Severus watched this simple gesture as if it were a small dance. "I want to thank you again. I owe you my life really. If you every need anything...."  
  
"It's all right. Lets just get started. You are making a simple confusion potion correct?" He was now becoming slightly bored. She may be slightly amusing but she was certainly quite dim if she was having this much trouble with a second year beginning potion.  
  
"Yes, I have the list of ingredients here. I can get through step four, but whenever I add the dried porcupine quills it goes miserable wrong. I've looked up everything I can think of but it's doing no good."  
  
Severus suppressed a smirk. He had had the same difficulty the first time he made this potion. Only it had only taken him ten minutes to figure out the correct solution. " Look at step three again. Always check one step before the supposed 'problem.'"  
  
"Add three spoonfuls of grave dust stirring it in at one minute intervals until the mixture becomes a paste. I thought I did that correctly, but..." Iris rested her chin in her hand engrossed in thought. "Oh no. It can't be that simple." She looked up at Severus with a mixture of embarrassment and laughter in her eyes. " I was supposed to keep adding three spoonfuls in wasn't I? It wasn't a total of three it was a continuous 'add three more' kind of thing wasn't it?"  
  
Severus nodded.  
  
"I feel dreadfully stupid now you know," she looked down at her potions book as if trying to get it to tell her it had tricked her on purpose.  
  
Severus began to gather his things in preparation for leaving.  
  
"Oh! Are you going? I feel really awful! You got the classroom for me and everything and it turns out I simply don't know how to read. Please wait. This should take no time at all now that I've got a clue, and then ... well. Do you like Butter Beer?"  
  
Severus could not believe it. He had thought she simply needed and intelligent brain to save her from detention, and now she was asking for his company. He did not know whether to smile and accept, or accuse her of possibly leading him into a sabotage. Gryffindors were known for their rather overindulgent pranks.  
  
"I will take that as a yes then." She beamed at him grasped his hand in her own and shook in a firm shake seals the deal," she winked. He could not help but notice how very warm and soft her hand felt in his own. His hand would not stop tingling for several minutes after she had let go and determinedly began her potion. It was then that he noticed the skill with which the girl prepared her ingredients and supervised the progress of the brew. Her movements were graceful and fluid. Her face, although displaying signs of concentration, was composed in a pleasant smile. She looked as though she could easily be humming.  
  
No wonder she messed up. She was breezing through this potion as though it required not effort at all she would very easily mistake directions if she took potion brewing as seriously as jaunt in the park. Yet it was obvious that she knew what she was doing. "No wonder Professor Hartche gives you a hard time." Severus stated rather coldly.  
  
"Pardon?"  
  
"Well, she sees potions as a dangerous class. You look as though you see it as about as serious as the Yule Ball. Your very good you know, but you should give all of this a little more respect."  
  
"Forgive me, but I don't see how hovering over a cauldron all day muttering insults and frankly looking quite constipated is going to make me a better witch. I happen to like potions and until that mistake, as foolish as it was, I have had no problems. I am not going to disguise the fact that I enjoy making a potion simply to make a lonely frustrated old hag feel a little more secure in my level of seriousness! Besides, I take this very seriously. I spent a week in that library looking up properties of porcupine quills, and foreign porcupine quills, as well as different meanings for the word porcupine. I almost went blind! I think if I took this work any more seriously I would be passed out in the infirmary right now, and another thing..."  
  
Severus cut her off with raised hand and a sly grin. "All right. You take it seriously! I get the point, and for what its worth you are very good. Despite the absence of a constipated expression." Severus looked at her with newfound respect. "You know? You don't seem like a normal second year Gryffindor."  
  
"And you don't seem like the normal slimy, selfish, cur that most Slytherines tend to be. "  
  
They starred at each other for a moment and then Severus heard Iris burst into laughter, and to his own surprise he heard himself join her.  
  
***************************  
  
"Oh! JUST TICKLE IT FOR GODS SAKE!" Iris whispered at the top of her lungs.  
  
"I refuse to tickle a painting of a pear. Particularly a pear on a painting in a hallway we should not be in right now." Severus looked at her as if she had just asked him to transfigure the sorting hat into a pumpkin pie so they could have desert.  
  
"Honestly Severus you need to dip into your sense of adventure," She said calmly reaching out and tickling the pear in question. "This is going to be fun. I promise."  
  
The painting swung open and Iris pulled Severus inside a room filled with busy house elves. Dishes were pilled everywhere the just the smell of the place made Severus' mouth water.  
  
"Are we in the kitchens?" He turned to her looking slightly mystified.  
  
"I promised you butterbeer. I deliver what I promise."  
  
Thirty minutes later the two were knee deep in bitterer and cookies. They chatted casually about potions, professors, and Iris tried to get the house elves to bring in the most exotic concoctions. "Just to see if they could." Severus had the sneaking suspicion she was doing this more for his amusement than her own.  
  
"What in the world is a corn dog?"  
  
"It's a sausage rolled in corn batter. You deep fry it and put it on a stick. It's really delicious!"  
  
"You eat things off of a stick?"  
  
"Oh don't be such a snob!" she giggled at him as the door to the kitchen swung open again.  
  
"Iris! What are you doing here?" Sirius Blacks voice jovially bounced off the kitchen walls. "We're having a little party in the common room and once again I have the job of getting the food..." his voice trailed off when he saw Severus standing next to Iris.  
  
Sirius' eyes grew fierce and his jaw tensed up. "Well, Snivellus I didn't expect to see you here. What's going on Iris?" He stepped between Iris and Severus protectively.  
  
"Oh honestly Sirius! You are so paranoid. Leave him alone."  
  
"Iris stop being so sympathetic. It will get you in trouble one day. Snivellus here is not worth your charitable time. Go up to the party and leave this greasy git to himself."  
  
"You know Sirius sometimes I wonder why I bother talking to you at all when you can so easily transform into an unbelievably conceited little piss ant arse!" Iris reached over and grabbed Severus' hand pulling him out the entrance of the kitchen. She gave an icy reprimanding stare to Sirius as she left.  
  
"Such lovely language for a lady Iris. Snivellus is certainly having a nice affect on you!" Sirius called after them.  
  
"Oh shove off! You don't care how I talk. Stop pretending."  
  
Iris and Severus continued down the hallway for a few minutes. "I'm really sorry about Sirius. He gets a little overprotective then he gets a lot like a prick." She slowed her pace, "Thank you again for all you help. This was fun." She stated this so sincerely that Severus felt his anger slowly drift off. "Well, I better head back to the common room." She smiled at him grabbed his hand and gave it a playful shake. "Don't be a stranger," she winked at him and skipped down the hallway.  
  
Severus walked away slowly smiling to himself. 'Were pretty girls always this confident.' He stopped in his tracks. 'Yes. I did just call her pretty. Maybe I won't be a stranger." 


	4. Past Meets Present

Chapter Four: Past Meets the Present  
  
Severus glared at the door. What had Potter been doing here? Did he know? Well, if he did not know before he was sure as hell going to find out now. With that know it all bookworm Granger on the job the whole school would no doubt soon be informed about the reappearance of its long lost student.  
  
He had thrown the boy out of the room quite hastily. Now remembering the potions incident he realized Potter had every right to be in the infirmary simply not in that particular area...yet. Potter surely would have to be informed sooner or later. Severus secretly hoped later would appeal to the headmaster as much as it did to himself. Harry Potter has every right to know about Iris returning. She is his aunt after all. Lily's sister would want Harry in her life when she awoke. Severus closed his eyes. 'She may not feel a similar need for my presence, however.'  
  
He turned his attention back to the curtained area on the far side of the room. He had not been able to sleep for even a moment knowing that she lay there. The struggle to forget her had been absolutely futile and even when he allowed his mind to freely entertain thoughts of her hoping that would satisfy him he found he had already begun walking the long hallways on the way to the infirmiry.  
  
Iris' breath was now steady and soft. It was hypnotic really. Severus watched the gentle rise and fall of her chest for nearly an hour. He simply stood at the entrance to her small enclosed stall not daring to move. She was there. His Iris, only a few feet from where he found his feet glued to the floor.  
  
Could he possibly move closer? The rapid beating of his heart felt like a roadblock. It was deafening. Pounding a warning into his mind. This girl, this child had meant so much to him before... NO! He could not be near her like this and yet every fiber of his being was reaching beyond where he now was. He yearned to embrace her. To cradle her in his arms, smooth her hair and ease her tense brow. He closed his eyes allowing himself to merely imagine the feel of her. Her weight against his chest. The subtle movement of her limbs as she moves in her sleep. This was all of her that he could have.  
  
Collapsed in the chair at her bedside and took her small hand in his own. It was limp but warm and her fingers began to curl over his palm while she slept. Severus closed his eyes memorizing the feel of touching her again.  
  
She was just as he remembered her. How was that possible? Years had certainly taken their toll on Severus and yet this beautiful creature remained as she was the day it happened.  
  
Iris stirred in her sleep and her face clenched in pain. She began to breathe heavier and Severus quickly knelt my her side.  
  
"It's all right Iris. It will be all right." He took her hand in his own, and gently kissed her cheek.  
()()()  
  
Her slumber was full of dream like memories repeatedly replaying in her minds eye. Her first birthday, falling off her bike, first day at Hogwarts, and mostly him. Memories of him swirled into a long whirlwind of beautiful moments and crashed abruptly into the dreadful end that had left her the way she is today. Her eyelids began to flutter as her memories continued.  
()()()  
  
They had been spending so much of their free time together that Iris was beginning to forget what she used to do before she befriended Severus. Many people did not care for him that is true, but he was so interesting, and intelligent. She also found his dry style of speech hilarious. She felt so at ease with him. She did not have to keep up a continuous game of cat and mouse with him like she did with Sirius, or talk endlessly of Quidditch like with James. She was free to let her dark humor out to play without the censure that Remus' kindhearted company required. They did not really take the time to get to know her they just hovered about her. Who could blame the boys' protective attitude towards her? Lily had asked them to look after her. They took her instructions seriously up to a certain point.  
  
She was glad they were her friends; they were always getting into mischief with each other. Lily would disapprove of that though. She smiled; their protectiveness never got in the way of their sense of fun, and Iris was usually game. The Gyffindors her own age were wonderful and they all got along delightfully well; Iris just felt something lacking. She loved them, it is true. Adored them actually, but Severus' company felt...well right. She felt completely herself around him and strangely he made her feel safe. Not to mention the way her stomach jumped in excitement when she saw him, and how any sweet look he threw her way caused her to blush the same color as her hair.  
  
She glanced over at him sitting indian style on the grass opposite her and reading a book with intense concentration. The sunlight bounced off his hair and she thought that she would never see anything so magnificent as the light shining on its jet black surface. True he was very pale and thin, and his nose was a little crooked at certain angles, but Iris had nothing but admiration for him. His lips looked soft and inviting, and his eyes never ceased to hypnotize her capturing her attention.  
  
She sighed sadly and leaned against the tree in their secluded little study spot. It was the only place they had found outside where her Gryffindor bodyguards did not think to check for her. Setting down her book she stared blankly up at the sky. 'I am his friend,' she thought, 'nothing more. He simply needs a friend right now and I am here. Don't get too attached Iris. You are confusing a good friendship with something else. You do not love him' Her thoughts scolded her firmly.  
  
"You'll never pass the test by studying that way." He sounded stern and reprimanding, but poked her outstretched foot playfully with his wand. She lowered her gaze and met his dark eyes with her light ones.  
  
"I don't think I'll pass regardless. I can't seem to concentrate lately." It was the honest truth. Severus claimed the majority of her thoughts, but she pushed out a laugh to make her statement sound as lighthearted as possible. "Maybe you can make some polyjuice potion and take my test for me. It would be a breeze for you."  
  
"It would not. I hate transfiguration. McGonnagal thinks I am a pest." He put his own book down got up and sat closer to iris peering over her shoulder at the book. "No, my assistance would do you no good whatsoever."  
  
Iris knew he was exaggerating, but the nearness of his body distracted her from her usual dry comments. She could feel his breathe as he leaned over her book. He smelled like chai tea, spicy and sweet all at the same time. She smiled at him as he raised his head from her book and gave her a smug look. His expression dropped when their eyes met only inches apart. They were so close that they were drawing in the moist air from each other's exhaled breaths. Iris could not look away despite the fact that her instincts told her to run. Maybe you do love him. Just a little bit.' She held her breathe, 'Oh fuck it,' she thought, 'I'll never get this opportunity again. I can't live with myself if I don't at least try,' She raised her hand gently cupping the side of his face and quickly pressed her lips to his own. She could feel his body stiffen instantly.  
  
'Well, that was the hint I needed,' she thought drawing back form him swiftly only to suddenly feel a graceful hand rest on her lower back and press her closer. His whole body relaxed breathing into the kiss. It was soft and gentle but they could feel the passionate undercurrent His lips parted and he gently bit her lower lip. Iris smiled slightly moving her hand from his face to the nape of his neck curling her fingers through his hair. He responded by reaching his arm farther around her back until she was fully in his embrace. This was right. It was what she had been dreaming of for the past four months. She opened her mouth a little and gently grazed his mouth with the tip of her tongue feeling his tongue instantly respond and play with her own.  
  
Voices grew louder and nearer and the two instantly broke apart and met each others gaze awkwardly. Just then Sirius and Remus burst onto the scene. "There you are Iris we've looked everywhere." Remus smiled a little shyly and nodded his head at Severus who only stared at his shoes.  
  
"Hello Snivelus, you look just dandy this afternoon. Is that a new brand of grease you've run through your hair?"  
  
"SIRIUS!" Iris snapped and shot him a death glare.  
  
Sirius snorted, "All right, I'm so sorry if I offended you Mr. Snape." He bowed mockingly then turned his attention to Iris. "Come on you've been studying so much you should have all your books memorized by now have a little fun with your old pals."  
  
"We were going to go out by the lake," Remus said simply, "we've missed you little one. What do you say? Can you part with your books for one afternoon?"  
  
"I don't know," Iris stumbled over her words her eyes drifting trying to catch Severus' attention. "I hadn't planned on," but Severus had already begun to gather up his strewn belongings.  
  
"I've got to go. Go with your friends." He turned to her anger burning in his eyes but when they caught her own expressive gaze his face softened and he quietly walked away.  
  
"See you later Snivelus. I'll miss you." Sirius laughed picked up Iris' books and offered Iris his arm. She only stared at him and then walked over to Remus took his arm and dragged him away.  
  
"Oh come on Iris. I just don't think it's a good idea for you to be hanging around that oaf all the time. I care about you. I'm only looking out for you."  
  
Iris dropped Remus' arm and barged right into Sirius' face. "If you really care about me than is it too much to ask that you show me and my FRIENDS a little more respect. God Sirius I am old enough to choose who I "hang around" with! I am sick and tired of you trying to save me from whatever bad decision I made or am about to make. God! No wonder Lily doesn't like to hang around you. You know, I know James likes her. That's why you all decided that Lily asking all the older Gryffindors to look out for me was your gangs personal assignment. How am I supposed to know if you really care for me at all! Your actions certainly don't always show it!"  
  
Sirius shuffled his feet and looked at the ground mumbling something that sounded an awful lot like an apology.  
  
Iris sighed, "I'm sorry. I know you really do care about me, and I care about you too. You're my friend Sirius, but I'm a big girl now, and I am going to enjoy the company of people you might not necessarily like. Could you please just...I don't know...not act like an evil prick to them?" She snorted out his last comment and Sirius chuckled.  
  
"You're right. I'll try" he said and affectionately kissed the top of her head. "I'm not making any promises though."  
  
She kicked him in the shins and took up Remus' arm once more.  
  
()()()  
  
Iris heard people moving near her bedside. She felt their presence but could not properly discern where she was. 'What is going on! Where am I,' her mind screamed at the shadows of figures moving back and forth on her eyelids. The only audible sound she made was a sort of a growl. Then a cool damp cloth was placed on her head. 'Open! Please!' she pleaded with her eyelids, and surprisingly felt them grudgingly obey.  
  
The room was a haze of light and shapes as her eyes struggled to regain focus. A dark shadow of a person floated above her. She heard the shadow gasp and back up.  
  
"Oh GOD!" a deep silky voice tumbled out of the shadow's mouth.  
  
"Where am I?" She pushed the words out, attempting rather feebly to hide her fear. The mans features fell into place as her eyes regained their full ability. He was tall with pale skin, a rather hooked nose and dark hair. Although, the what caught her attention were his eyes. They were deep pools of ebony black, they reminded her so much of..."Severus?" It couldn't be this man was twice the age of Severus and yet those eyes belonged only to him.  
  
The man jerked slightly. "I...shall fetch Madam Pomfrey. She will be very glad to see you have awakened." He did not turn to go however, he simply stood locked into her gaze.  
  
"Are you really Severus? You can't be." Iris felt her strength returning. "I will not be tricked again! You can't take him from me too! I'm not going to fall for this again!" Iris shouted attempting to stand. "I won't weaken !" Her voice came rumbling from her body strong and defiant, but her legs shook and collapsed beneath her. She felt her body caught and supported by two strong and tender arms.  
  
*******************  
  
Thank you to Sinister Papaya Fondue! You perked me up a bit and yes you are right about everything! By the way your story Amphitrite is AWESOME! People (if anyone's reading) check it out! I am hooked. 


	5. Rising Questions

Chapter Five, Rising Questions  
  
Harry ran back to the common room feeling his confusion and anger drown out all other thoughts from his brain.  
  
"Who is she," he said aloud when he finally reached the entrance to the room.  
  
"I've no idea my dear, but do tell me the pass word and go in." The fat lady grumbled sleepily. "I was getting some well earned rest before you tromped noisily down the hall."  
  
"Sorry. Uh, Ursa Major."  
  
The portrait swung open and Harry managed to stumble into the room. This had been an overwhelmingly strange night. There was a girl in the infirmary who could not possibly be a Gryffindor. He knew everyone in Gryffindor. Well, he at least know of everyone in Gryffindor. She looked his age well around his age. He should know her.  
  
Harry stopped in his tracks suddenly realizing that he was pacing the common room with extreme fervor and making little grunting noises.  
  
Someone groaned from the couch and Harry saw movement. Quite suddenly Hermione's head popped up.  
  
"Harry?" she drawled sleepily, "I thought you were going to spend the night in the infirmary. What's going on?" She stood up not seeming to be aware of her surroundings in the least. A book fell promptly from her lap to the floor. "Oh!" she looked down at the book in confusion, "I was in here...studying?" She looked as though she would fall asleep right where she stood.  
  
Harry momentarily forgot his extreme curiosity over the girl with the bright red hair and went to help steady Hermione where she stood. "Go to bed Mione," He urged gently, "I'm fine, but what do you say about a trip to the library tomorrow? I need some extracurricular help."  
  
"What?" he pushed her softly in the direction of the dorms, "Oh, that's a wonderful idea Harry! I wanted to show you something really interesting about flobberworms when you put honey on them. They don't catch fire with the sun anymore. Not if you sprinkle..." She continued her completely incoherent chatter as she closed the door to her room.  
  
"Well, I think we have established that you may be a morning person, but you should be locked up at sunset." Harry chuckled to himself. "Hermione will help me sort this out. Whatever this is." He headed down to the common room. Sleep didn't seem a realistic option tonight.  
  
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()  
  
Iris felt her body freeze as the man gently set her back on the bed. What is going on? She had expected some sort of violence, but he simply helped her to her originall position. She stared down at the bed unable to make sense of her newest location and unwilling to look up into the face of this man with Severus' eyes.  
  
Her jaw tightened, "Where the hell am I?" She had to sound unafraid. That lesson had not taken too long to learn. Things went much worse much more quickly when people could sense your fear. Better anger than fear, always. She needed to look up. She had to become the predator not the victim and quicker was better. She should stare mercilessly at him and assert whatever power she could in the beginning, but the thought of those eyes made the lump in her throat grow three times bigger.  
  
"You are at Howarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, do you remember it at all," the voice was like velvet filled with sympathy and tenderness.  
  
"I do," Iris looked up shakily. Could it be true. She forgot his eyes in a moment of hope but went cold when confronted with them a second time.  
  
She had no reason to trust him, but she wanted to believe that this really was Hogwats. She wanted to finally be home. Hastily Iris reached out and grabbed the wrist of the man standing in front of her. Her fingers pressed into his pulse. She closed her eyes and felt the rhythm of his heartbeats enter her body. Chills ran up and down her arm and her hand grew icy cold. She began to tremble and sweat. Feeling her eyelids flutter uncontrollably the visions poured so rapidly into her brain that she could not get a clear picture of even one of them. She shook her head harshly telling the visions to cease. They were replaced by an extreme sense of calm and openness. Her heart picked up his pace as her own. "Tell me again where I am."  
  
"Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry." His hand stiffened but he did not pull away.  
  
His pulse remained steady. Iris's brain was filled with pictures of hallways full of students, cauldrons bubbling, and finally visions of herself laying helpless in a hospital bead. She felt confusion, fear, and extreme warmth. He was telling the truth.  
She took a deep breathe and slowly released his hand. Iris felt his heartbeat slowly recede from her body as she picked up her own rhythm again. She sighed audibly as tears entered her eyes. "I'm back" she smiled softly to herself almost forgetting the ghostly presence by her bedside.  
  
"You're an empath," he stated this so coldly that Iris was momentarily startled out of her reverie.  
  
She could only smile mysteriously as exhaustion crept over her once more. "I am many things." Iris allowed her gaze to become softly penetrating. "I'm sorry. I don't usually begin conversations that way. I..well, what's appropriate to say in this situation?" Closing her eyes to regain a little strength Iris breathed in deeply. "Who are you?" She paused and slowly reopened her eyes, "You remind me of someone." Although she tried with all her inner strength to control her voice allowing no emotion to show, it sounded strangled and on the verge of tears. Her face was cold but her eyes held a passion that burned a hole right through Severus.  
"I am no one of consequence." He turned abruptly, but Iris caught a look of sorrow and contempt in his eyes as he stormed out.  
  
Iris leaned back against her pillow and for the first time in many years real tears fell from her aching eyes. They were tears of happiness to be at Hogwarts once again, but they were also tears of sorrow and exhaustion. "Don't look for him Iris. You stupid girl." She closed her eyes allowing her body to give in to the tears, and yet she could not help but try to talk some sense into herself. "He is gone and seeing him in faces of strangers will only drive you mad." She chucked softly, "As if you weren't mad already!" 


	6. Blood and Books

Chapter Six: Blood and Books  
  
Iris tried many times to get up out of bed to relieve the restlessness that pounded in her heart, but she found that her legs could barely support the weight of her let alone carry her body through the vigorous activity she yearned to do. She pushed the blankets off her body again and swung her legs over the side of the bed. "That is it! I am going to walk out of here if it kills me!" Pressing her hands against the bed on either side of her Iris propelled her body forward. For a brief moment she stood straight al tall then toppled into the curtain around her bed knocking the entire encasement forward and onto the bed opposite hers.  
  
"SHIT!"  
  
"I couldn't have put it better myself."  
  
Iris felt the heavy fabric of the curtains being lifted off of her. Cocking her head to one side she saw the kindly, much older, face of Albus Dumbledore twinkling down at her. Despite her best efforts to regain a little dignity a joyous smile broke out on her face and she shook with laughter.  
  
"Professor Dumbledore! I wanted to get up. I just don't seem to be able to."  
  
"Ah, well the attempt was admirable my dear. I knew the Gryffindor in you would not tolerate bed rest even at this hour. I was informed that you had awoken, and I thought I might try to persuade you to stay put. It seems I am little late." Iris only grunted in response. Extending his hand Dumbledore helped Iris out of the sea of fabric and back to the safety of her bed. "My dear, as much as I admire your astounding ability to smile and appear jovial after your ordeal, I must ask you this. Do you know what happened to you?"  
  
Iris bit her bottom lip and looked to the floor. She was not ready to tell anyone. Not yet. Dumbledore may have found her laughter brave, but Iris knew it was mere cowardliness. She had always pushed this away. Better to pretend to be happy than feel pain. If you spent enough time pretending than you could eventually convince yourself it was real."I'm sorry Professor, but I don't remember anything." Her eyes remained glued to the floor. Looking up at the kind old man would mean she would simply start revealing everything. Dumbledore had a strange effect on her. On everyone she imagined. "I don't really know what to say. I guess I should say thank you for saving me, or finding me, but I have to confess that I am not sure it was you who did it. I really don't remember anything."  
  
"I was worried that might be the case." Dumbledore's mouth twitched into a slight smile which left as quickly as it appeared. "Well, rest assured my dear, we will do our very best to aide you in eventually remembering. We will all be here should you need us. It is simply magnificent that you have returned to us after so many years. Gave us all quite a start actually. Although I am reasonably sure Professor Snape was given the shock of his life."  
  
Iris' head shot up and she stared at Dumbledore mouth wide open in disbelief.  
  
"Professor Snape?" Her face became ghostly pale. "You can't mean..."  
  
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()  
  
"Severus?"  
  
"Albus how may I help you?" Severus looked up from the stack of papers he was grading.  
  
"Oh, I just came down for a chat. It has been a while since I have been down here for any good length of time."  
  
Severus frowned. Dumbledore certainly did not come just for a chat. "Albus kindly get to the point I am terribly sorry, but I am in no condition to endlessly beat around the bush."  
  
"No, I imagine you are not. Didn't sleep well last night?"  
  
"No, I did not. Surely we are not here to discuss my insomnia."  
  
"She is an empathetic seer. It will be a hard life for her."  
  
Severus allowed his gaze to drop, "A hard life? This is dark magic we are talking about here Albus not a muggle learning disability, Dark Magic!" The words echoed through his brain until he felt numb. "Empathetic seers are agents of Dark Blood. This, 'gift' as they call it, is given to witches or wizards through blood coupling, a horrific procedure, and that is being kind.  
  
"A potion was injected magically into her stream. It was a mixture of the blood of a powerful and deadly wizard drained by his own hand and the blood of whatever good wizard it is that he had just cursed. A dead man's blood drained in a ritual slaughter. Slaughters we have not seen since the muggle pagan times. As if this was not enough it is then mixed with Unicorn blood, the purest magical creature ever to roam the earth.  
  
"Albus this will be much more than 'a hard life.' She is eternally bound to Voldemort through the very blood that pumps through her veins." Severus felt his body go limp where he stood. He wanted to scream, to lash out at someone. It would be a very poor night for any student that crossed his path today.  
  
"She remembers more than she is willing to reveal. It is dangerous for her to conceal all this knowledge, especially of who you say she is linked to. Severus I believe that you would have a better effect on her."  
  
"What." Severus spat at him. His face grew pale and tight. "I cannot question her Albus. I dare not assume that she will even speak to me." His voice grew hoarse. "I am sorry but it is out of the question."  
  
"Severus I have no doubt that you sincerely wish to prevent her further emotional trauma by refusing to speak with her, however, I simply must insist. I is far more dangerous that she keep what happened to her silent. We need to know and you need to find out. Her being an empath gives us some insight as to her past, but there is still the question of why she has not aged one year from her disappearance. If I assume rightly this 'procedure' of becoming a seer was nothing to what has frozen her state in time. Talk to her Severus; do not push me further on the subject." Severus did not often see Dumbledore with a look of fierce command on his face, but he knew that there would be no talking him out of it.  
  
"I will. I cannot, however, guarantee that she will be willing to talk to me."  
  
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()  
  
"I don't understand Harry? Who did you see last night? You can't mean you saw your mother?" Hermione lowered her voice and peered sympathetically at her friend.  
  
"No, she wasn't my mother she only looked like her. This was girl, and girl around our age."  
  
"But no on in Gryffindor is sick." Ron piped in looking less than thrilled to be heading for the library on a Saturday.  
  
"Exactly" Harry grabbed Hermione's hand and led her into the library so quickly she almost tripped.  
  
"All right we will figure this out," she snorted. "Oh. Harry. What did you say she looked like?" Her chocolate eyes glazed over for a moment deep in thought.  
  
"She looked...like my mother. Red hair, smallish, I don't know. She looked beautiful." Harry suddenly felt awful. "I have to sit down."  
  
Hermione followed him briskly. "You have heard the legends right? I mean you can't really not know who this could be? I can't believe I didn't realize sooner."  
  
"Oh man! You saw HER! Fantastic!" Ron chimed in.  
  
"No, I have NOT heard the legends. Would someone just tell me!" Harry snapped.  
  
"Well," Hermione said disappearing in one of the long rows of bookshelves. "Well, I guess it's the wizarding equivalent of a ghost story or an urban legend. It first started happening around the late 1970s."  
  
Hermione looked down at the book she had pulled and read aloud, "It was in the later half of the decade that the first recorded sightings of a young girl in the Hogwarts halls began. Those who state that they have seen her describe her as around the age of 15 with startlingly blue eyes and bright red hair. Unlike traditional ghosts the girl does not appear with any tangible consistency, and she has never been recorded to have spoken to any of those who have seen her. The most common form she appears in is similar to a muggle hologram. 'She drifted in and out of our vision. She just walked looking around her.' one man remembers his sighting as a child, 'It looked like her mouth was moving but I couldn't hear anything.' In 1990 the number of recorded sighting of who is now called 'the red girl' was an astounding 712. For further information on the origin of 'the red girl' see Hogwarts: Guide to its Dark Secrets. " Hermione looked up at Harry "Very original name," Hermione snorted. "Harry does that sound right?"  
  
"No, I mean the description of what she looks like is right I guess, but she wasn't a hologram. She was real. I mean she was sleeping for gods sake; do holograms sleep?"  
  
"It doesn't answer the question of why Madam Pomfrey and Professor McGonnagal were talking about her either. This book refers you to another, should I look at that?"  
  
"It couldn't hurt," Harry replied, but noticed that Hermione was already out of her seat searching the bookshelves.  
  
She came scrambling back with an angry look on her face. "It's in the restricted section. That means they don't want us looking in it. That means its valuable information," Hermione got a frenzied look in her eye. "Harry."  
  
"Tonight. My Dad probably had no idea how often that cloak would come in handy."  
  
"Great!" Ron exclaimed. "Even the library gets exciting when we shouldn't be in it." The look of mischievous glee on his face could only be rivaled by his twin brothers.  
  
()()()()()()()()  
  
Thank you so much to anyone who has been reading. Caytebelle I just realized I have yet to thank you for your review! Oh no! Anyway, thank you so so much. You got me to write another chapter. :) 


	7. Reunion

Chapter seven: Reunion  
  
It was a full two hours before Severus actually completed the fairly short walk to the infirmary. His legs simply would not obey him. She knew who he was now. There was no hiding behind anonymity any longer. What could he possibly say to her that would in anyway explain the dramatic turn his life had taken when she disappeared? He was hardened now; he realized that. What about Lily? Lily was dead and Iris was ignorant to that information. Severus froze his mind preparing wild speeches to deliver the painful news. "Your sister is dead as is her husband. They have left behind one child. A boy named Harry who is expected to defeat Voldemort single-handedly despite the fact that he is only 16 years old. He is arrogant and rash, and I have very little hope that the boy will reach the age of 20 due to his need to seek out danger rather than wait for it to come to him. Your friend Sirius was falsely convicted of the murder of your sister and her spouse. After years in Azkaban he escaped and was beginning to live somewhat peacefully and helping with the fight against Voldemort, in his own little way, when he died trying to save Harry's life. Voldemort's power increases, as well as his hold over you I assume. I am an ex-Deatheater now spying on Voldemort for Dumbledore. Any questions?" He snorted and continued down the hall.  
  
She would need to know everything at some point he reasoned, better she face the cold hard facts of the world she awakened to sooner than later. It does no good to coddle the girl. She would not want that.  
  
The infirmary doors stood tall and foreboding in front of the potions master. His usual rigid confidence was depleted and his hand shook slightly as he turned the handle and entered the sterile smelling room.  
  
The place was empty except for a curtained area in the back. The private section had grown larger since Iris had awakened. Probably due to the girls need to move about without being seen. Before Severus knew what was happening he saw his hand reach out and pull the curtain aside.  
  
Iris looked up started from her silent reverie. She stood up quickly and awkwardly when she saw Severus' imposing form in her doorway. "Hello."  
  
"Mastered standing again I see. The Headmaster informed me of your previous difficulty." He had meant his voice to sound sharp and biting, but instead he heard slight amusement and playful sarcasm.  
  
"Yes, Well, I have had some time to practice." Her voice was clipped and carefully monitored. She knew how to keep her emotions in check. "Would you care to sit." Iris motioned to a chair opposite herself. "Sev...Professor Snape?" He quickly drew his eyes away from her gaze. He had been frozen to the spot. She was just as he remembered her. Briskly Severus looked at the floor and took the offered chair.  
  
"I...was not expecting a visit from you." Iris felt embarrassed, but at the same time she loathed the expansive distance between them. "I have to confess this is quite surprising."  
  
"Why?" Severus burst out before he could stop himself, "Do you think I don't remember my youth? Or am I merely that cruel?"  
  
"I simply assumed you would not want to. You did sort of run out of here when I mentioned your name before. I'm sorry I did not mean to insult you." Iris took a deep breathe. She couldn't do this. This silly game of pretending everything was all right, and all the while feeling the tension thicken the air around her until she can't breathe. "I can't act like this. What is going on? How am I supposed to react to you now? Are we supposed to try to be friends, or are we mo...or are you my professor now? Why are you here Severus? "  
  
To his surprise Severus breathed a sigh of relief. Her honesty always amazed him. "I do not know what we are to each other...Miss Evans...but I have come down here merely to offer myself as a sympathetic ear." He caught her gaze once more and her penetrating blue eyes melted his formality. "Iris, what happened to you? Tell me please." She took up his habit of looking at the floor. "I am so sorry. You followed me didn't you?" Severus could not contain his anxious energy he began pacing the room. "The night you disappeared. The night of my initiation and marking."  
  
"So you were marked then?"  
  
"Did you follow me?"  
  
"Well, In a way yes."  
  
"In a way? My dear child you either followed me or you didn't!"  
  
"It isn't that simple Severus! And don't you dare call me a child! You may appear older than me but I assure my experiences these past twenty years have not left me completely unchanged! If you ever patronize me like that again you will live to regret it!" Her face turned the same brilliant shade as her hair and her hands clutched the arms of her chair so tightly that her knuckles were ghostly white.  
  
"I see your temper has not left you." Severus faced away from her trying to conceal a tear that threatened to escape. His voice managed to rumble out of him in contempt.  
  
"Severus Snape either finish your business here without further comment or get the hell out."  
  
"Tell me what happened to you?"  
  
"Why should I tell you? I would much prefer to tell Dumbledore thank you." Iris closed her eyes and prayed he would just leave. She did not have the strength to look up at the man she loved in this state. He was older sure, but that was not what ripped her apart. She was older as well even if she did not look it. He was so cold now. His eyes used to dance with mischief, or at least anger. They were empty now. The same endless black pools as always, but devoid of any feeling at all. If he had simply turned around she would have seen them full to the brim with a passionate sorrow.  
  
"Make no mistake Miss Evans I would much prefer that method as well, but the Headmaster seems to think I should bear the burden of your tale."  
  
"I have absolutely no intention of 'burdening' you. Kindly GET OUT!"  
  
"I can't!"  
  
"Why not? Do you always do exactly what Dumbledore tells you to? I see you have lost more than you meager good looks these past twenty years. What happened to your spine Professor?"  
  
Severus advanced on her placing his long graceful hands firmly over her small white ones. Trapping them against the arms of her chair. "You have no idea what happened to me during the last twenty years. Do not presume to have the ability to judge my past or present. You would faint and break out in cold sweats if you had seen the things I have."  
  
At first Iris only looked up at him defiantly, but as he spoke her hands grew ice cold and her eyes began to glaze over. The frigid temperature of her hands crept up Severus' arms as well. He closed his eyes and dropped to his knees unable to move or think and lost in rapid flashes of his own memories.  
  
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"Iris please just wait here. Lucius will be here any second. There is nothing you can do."  
  
"I am not going to let you throw yourself at that psychotic man's feet! He is sick Severus! Please don't go. Please, I don't want to lose you, I love you!"  
  
"Iris, ...I....have to."  
  
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"Keep up Severus this is an important night. Believe me you do not want to be late." Lucius Malfoy's voiced was laced with venom. "The Dark Lord does not accept excuses."  
  
"I think we are bring followed."  
  
"Nonsense. You are a greasy paranoid little git now shut up and walk"  
  
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"What do you mean she is missing? Where is she? Find her! You have to find her!"  
  
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"Hello Snivellus. Lurking in dark corners as usual. I'll prove it was you. You will suffer for what you did to her!"  
  
"I didn't hurt Iris. I love her. When will you understand that I love her!  
  
"Do you really expect me to believe that you filthy pile of shit? I swear to god I will kill you if you even so much as say her name again!"  
  
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"They all think I killed her Professor. I can't stay here."  
  
"Nonsense."  
  
"We will never find her will we?"  
  
"Don't give up hope Severus."  
  
"I don't want to hope! Everyone thinks I murdered the only person who ever loved me! I can't even feel anymore. Hope would be torture sir. It would only make me lose her over and over again. Each time my hope was unfulfilled. That world is too dark even for me. I would rather just not feel anything every again."  
  
"That is a grim world."  
  
"It is a just one."  
  
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"I will serve you eternally My Lord. My promise stands. I am your ever faithful servant."  
  
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"You know what to do if someone is inside. A chance to use your favorite unforgivable. There is nothing like the sound of their screams. Have fun."  
  
"Thank you Lucius I will."  
  
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"Severus it will be a hard life. I would not wish it on you."  
  
"Headmaster I deserve far worse. I need to do a little good. It is only just punishment."  
  
"It was not your fault Severus."  
  
"What was not sir? The many murders I committed. The way I reveled in the screams from the people I tortured. The pools of blood I leave in my wake everywhere I go. I am dripping with the blood of the innocent Albus. That is most certainly my fault."  
  
"I was talking of Iris. You chose Voldemort as your punishment once, and now you choose this. Severus, despite what you feel, you don't deserve a lifetime of self flagellation."  
  
"I deserve an eternity of it." **************************************************************************** *  
  
Severus felt his hands grow hotter as his mind became once again under his own control. His hands were close to burning now until out of nowhere a force propelled him backwards and he opened his eyes to see the cracked ceiling far above him.  
  
"What has just happened?" Severus growled as he got to his feet.  
  
Iris was now on her knees leaning against the chair for support. She was making a futile attempt to regain her seat, but her body appeared too weak. "You grabbed both of my hands and wanted me to know something. I merely took advantage of your offer."  
  
"It was not an offer, and you are well aware of that. This is not a game Iris. You are very powerful, and very dangerous."  
  
"You think I don't know that?" Iris had given up the fight for her chair and was simply resting against it now and staring at Severus is disbelief. "I assure you Severus I am well aware of my abilities. If I wanted to I could control every emotion running through your body. I could make you do things. I could know your past and your present. I can even see your future," She chortled, "if the weather's right."  
  
"There is much more to this 'gift' than that." His sneer of the word gift was audible.  
  
"I'm aware of that as well Severus. I'm by no means grateful for this. Believe me."  
  
Iris' tone went from harsh and cold to meek and tired. Severus observed her once more. Her head was tilted backwards resting awkwardly on the cushion of the chair behind her. She had drawn her knees up to her chest and was holding them to her tightly. Her eyes once blazing with anger were sealed shut and her face was contorted in pain. "Are you all right? Can I do anything?" She was so helpless like that, no one would have guessed that she was a servant of the Dark Lord, however unwillingly.  
  
Iris lifted her head and looked into Severus' eyes. She did not glare; she did not implore. She simply looked. "You could be the old Severus again. The one I knew, and trusted. I would gladly tell him everything."  
  
Severus was silent.  
  
"Well, I had to ask." She peered at him curiously, "All right. You win."  
  
"What?"  
  
"It's so strange. A minute ago I didn't want to tell you, or anyone really. Now, I'm just too tired to be the only one who knows." Her eyes became moist and her voice came out in tiny shaky gasps. "Now you have a choice to make. I can tell you all I can. I will most certainly leave out details. I refuse to put certain things into words." Her eyes glazed over, " Then there's your other option." She let her hands fall off her legs and pressed them to the floor as if she needed further support."I can show you. I can pass it to you. You would be there and see and feel everything as if you were me. It would not be pleasant in any way, but" she paused and sighed, "it would be complete."  
  
Severus did not hesitate for a moment. "Show me."  
  
"You'll need to be somewhere you are extremely comfortable. I don't want to risk you waking up to anything unfamiliar it'll be a jolting enough experience even if I were to show you something beautiful and I have nothing like that to share."  
  
"Will it be similar to what just happened?"  
  
"My viewing your memories? Not to your experience of it. I am taking you to my side of the playing field Severus. Taking on another persons emotions and experiences is uncomfortable to say the least. All you did was relive your own." She smiled slightly, :"That is not usually pleasant either. We should go to your chambers." He looked at her suspiciously, "You must feel at home. It will be easier to come out of it."  
  
"Very well. Lets go." 


	8. Courageous Fear

Chapter 8: Courageous Fear  
  
The extreme cold of the dungeons stung Iris' fevered skin. She drew in mouthfuls of the icy air relishing in the pain that its sharpness brought to her weak lungs. It was a sensation that was not a part of the pain that threatened to take hold. It was a distraction from her overwhelming need to run back down the shadowed hallway and out into the night air away from Hogwarts and all of its complications.  
  
All of her senses were sharpened. Each one sending new information to her entirely separate from the other four. Yet all of them seemed somehow dulled as well. She felt like she was under water. Her footfalls were slow and heavy and the sound of them hitting to cold stones beneath her sent rippling echoes behind her. She could hear Snape's steps as well as she followed him, only dimly aware of his presence. His feet, his breath, his occasional directions were registered as something far away from herself. She heard them as someone would hear a conversation in the distance and even then it was murky. Like too much pressure in the air had clogged the reception to her ears. She heard her own deep and unsteady breathing, and felt with each step the continued beating of her heart. The sweat in her palms was somehow reassuring. That felt real and present while all her other senses seemed not really to come from herself but some outside source willing them onto her. Then finally, abruptly the walk ended.  
  
She nearly walked directly into Snape's back when he stopped it was so sudden a movement and she had been following him so closely. He muttered something at his door Iris squinted vaguely aware that passwords were almost always useful and she should have paid better attention. Then again after tonight she may never wish to see these rooms again.  
  
"Miss Evans..."  
  
She looked up startled. Snape was gazing at her with a mingled expression of concern and impatience. He had obviously been attempting to get her attention for quite a while.  
  
"Do you wish to conduct this little experiment in the doorway or were you planning on entering at some point within the night?" His tone was harsh and unforgiving, but Iris saw fear flash in his eyes. Then just as quickly as it appeared it vanished.  
  
Looking down to regain her footing and presence of mind Iris entered Snape's private chamber feeling all the while as if someone were walking over her grave. She shivered noticeably. Snape made a move to light the fire and was stopped by her hand over his wrist. "No. No magic until it is over, and no fire. I promise the cold will be reassuring."  
  
Snape looked perplexed but lowered his wand. "As you wish. Shall we begin?"  
  
"I will need a few things." Snape gestured for her to continue. "A dagger, a large silver bowl, a cloth, a mortar and pestle, willow bark..."  
  
"Perhaps it would be better for you to collect them yourself. My private laboratory and supplies are through there" He directed her through a tall door to the left of where they stood. Iris made her way swiftly wishing for even the temporary solitude collecting supplies would provide.  
  
She breathed easier when she shut the door behind her, and began to search for the tools necessary to perform her dreaded task. His laboratory was immaculate and clearly organized. To Iris' immense regret she found all of the ingredients and tools much too quickly for her to gather her thoughts and prepare her for what she must do. She put all that she needed into a large cauldron and set it on the counter, she would stay in here alone until this sick feeling in her stomach subsided. What had she agreed to? It was one thing to tell someone what had happened, but it was quite another to ask them to live it and to relive it herself in the process. She couldn't stop her hands from shaking.  
  
How would he react? Would he think less of her? Would he blame himself? What will Dumbledore do when he hear the story which he undoubtedly will? Would the spell somehow summon her again or draw unwanted attention from, "NO! This is useless Iris, you agreed to this. You proposed this idea yourself. Get on with it girl. You will survive the consequences; like you always have," she said aloud stopping herself from her downward spiral of thinking.  
  
Taking one last breath she picked up the cauldron and made her way back to Snape. He was sitting motionless on a couch in the center of his living room. "Perhaps a bed would be better. You may be in an unconscious state for a while, and my guess is that once you have awoken your body will want for sleep."  
  
Snape rose from his silent trance and lead her through a door opposite the one to his laboratory. She was surprised at his simple obedience to her request. He is afraid too she mused almost smiling at the realization that she was not quite alone in this endeavor.  
  
For the first moment since they had arrived Iris allowed herself to observe her surroundings. The bedroom was large and drafty from absence of a fire. She was grateful for the cold air prickling her skin. She could not imagine attempting this in a room full of warmth and comfort. No, that would not suit this at all.  
  
The bed was a large four poster not unlike the one she had slept in as a student. The last time she had had the steady comfort of a bed each night with the exception of her time in the infirmary. She turned around taking in each object and piece of furniture separately and allowing them to register in her mind. Chair, desk, parchment, quill, wardrobe, window, books stacked by the bed, Snape.....he stood in the center of the room beside the bed with an expectant look on his face, and yet he said nothing to rush her slow inspection of his chamber. He must know that the task ahead was not easy for either party, and he had no apparent need to hurry the inevitable.  
  
"Please make yourself as comfortable as possible, I have to prepare a few things." The confidence Iris wished to display was only lost in the slight trembling of her hands as she unloaded the contents of the cauldron onto Snape's desk. She heard him settle onto the bed behind her.  
  
"I must inquire Miss Evans, have you done this before?"  
  
"No, I have not. I do not habitually find those who wish to live through my experiences Professor. No, you are the first with that request."  
  
"If you have never done this before then how, precisely, do you have any idea what to do or expect?"  
  
Iris turned sharply back to him. "I do not know HOW I know professor, I simply do. I assure you that there are many things this world without explanation professor, but they are valid nonetheless. I know what to do because I am meant to be able to do it. Ever since I became capable of these things I have instinctively known what to do. I was never taught. I know what to expect because....I see what to expect in my mind." Iris sat in the chair beside the desk and rubbed her eyes vigorously.  
  
"Forgive me if that does not inspire perfect confidence in what I am about to endure." Snape sneered at her.  
  
"Do not take your fear out on me Severus Snape! I know perfectly well what you are up to! I will not be responsible for your sudden desire for a place to aim your doubts. You know there are many aspects to my...powers...that are without explanation. I will not physically harm you in any way." She was being harsh she knew. To point out fear in Severus was a low blow.  
  
"If it eases your...discomfort...I will be doing everything you will and experiencing all of this right beside you. There is no reason I would attempt to poison or harm myself."  
  
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Severus looked over at the bent figure of Iris in his chair. She was visibly trembling. It had not occurred to him that she too would have to live through these moments with him. He had no idea why the thought had not entered his mind before but now it made perfect sense. He had seem the same things she had when she had viewed his memories. Those had been small vignettes very little but the barest timeline of his life since her disappearance. She was about to relive hers in its entirety.  
  
He no longer wondered at the fear that he saw gripping the girls since they left the infirmary. Suddenly all he wanted to do was take her into his arms and comfort her. To stroke her hair and tell her it would be all right, but he did not know if that was true. All he knew was that if her past held half as many unpleasant memories as his did this was an incredibly courageous act. He looked over to see her busily adding ingredient to the silver bowl.  
  
His assumption had been that this method would be less painful than her having to speak her experiences out loud. He now knew better.  
  
He watched her cautiously as she approached him holding a small pin and a silver bowl. "I need to," She paused and took a deep breath, " I need some blood... from your eyes. Would you like to...um...extract in yourself or should I?" She held the pin out and Severus could see the immense effort it took for her to keep her hand steady. Most likely to avoid any scalding remarks from him. He silently took the needle from her hand and the silver bowl from the other.  
  
"Am I correct in presuming that this is its final destination." He raised the silver bowl and looked into Iris' eyes.  
  
"Yes, It should not hurt too mush I have treated the pin with a numbing, and a clotting agent. You should begin to heal immediately and it should be completely over by the time the numbing agent wears off."  
  
"Thank you. How much do you need?"  
  
"The pin will draw the exact amount inside of it. It is yours you know? You should be aware of its functions." He knew that she said this not to belittle him but in an effort to lesson the tension that was rapidly filling to room like a fog.  
  
Severus looked at the pin he held and recognized it immediately. "Of course. You are right. I apologize."  
  
She looked at him in mild confusion, and he set the bowl to one side and took her hand in his. "Iris, we are about to do a very frightening thing. We will need each other. This game of cat and mouse will do us no benefit." She nodded in silent agreement and squeezed his hand like a frightened child then released herself from his grip. She turned back to the desk and held up a pin identical to the one Severus was holding.  
  
"Together then." She gave him a very weak smile. She let out a sharp release of breath and he watched her posture straighten and her shaking stop. She had a new aura of fearlessness about her. She walked back to him and sat on the bed so that the silver bowl was placed between them. "Place the pin on the outside edge of your eye. It will send a slight shock through your eye when it is done retrieving the blood. After that place the tip of the pin into the mixture in the bowl until a similar shock goes through your hand signaling that it is once again empty. Ready?"  
  
Severus nodded and placed the pin in position. "Now." The numbing agent was doing its job. An extreme heat covered his eyeball and it began to pulse but he felt very little pain. The pin suddenly vibrated and a sharp jolt went coursing through it into his eye. The signal that it had drawn all it needed from him. Keeping the one eye closed he looked over at Iris to see her removing her pin as well and steadily placing the tip into the cloudy mixture within the silver bowl. He quickly followed her example.  
  
Once the pins had been emptied of their contents Iris picked up the bowl and emptied half of its contents into a glass and placed it aside. "Your potion needs one more ingredient, and I need your help in getting it."  
  
She picked up the glass she had made and quickly drank the contents. She looked at him steadily. "You will need to drain me of a considerable amount more of my blood. The blood from the eyes was merely to connect our visions. So you will see what I choose to see. This is to place my blood within you. It is my blood that allows me to send and receive visions. You will need to posses that for a short while. It will not be permanent, but it will be too much blood loss for me to continue to perform the rest of the ritual. I will cut my hand and for as long as I am able I will hold it over the bowl, but the potion has weakened me physically. My mind and powers were enhanced so I will be aware but unable to hold myself up. You will need to keep my hand over the bowl until the potion turns a deep purple. Then take this cloth and tie it over my hand. I soaked it in a potion that will stop the blood flow. Finally you will need to drink the potion and lay down. After that I am not entirely sure what exactly will happen, but I know we will both awake sometime later. I can only assume that our mental and physical states will be...strange."  
  
She moved quickly sitting opposite him on the bed. She held the dagger to her hand and over the silver bowl. Snape brought his hand up to stop her. "Lay down" he said softly, "I will help you." Snape held the dagger and the bowl as she lowered herself on the bed on her back. She closed her eyes and held her hand out.  
  
Severus placed the bowl under her hand and took up the dagger. He gently took hold of her hand and looked over to her again. One single tear dropped from her hardened face. He ran his thumb along her hand reassuringly and before he knew what he was doing he kissed her palm lovingly then swiftly drew the edge of the dagger along it watching the blood rapidly flowing into the bowl beneath it.  
  
He was hypnotized by it, and disgusted with it all at once. He felt her hand go limp in his and fear racked through him. He pressed his fingers into her wrist reassured by the pulse that remained there. Below her hand the potion rapidly turned a deep purple and he grabbed the cloth pressing it to her wound.  
  
True to her word the bleeding stopped. Severus took up the silver bowl and pressed it to his lips. "I'm coming Iris." He drank the vile mixture and lay beside her in the bed.  
  
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******nerd-girl and my faithful reader Sinister Papaya Fondue thank you very very much for your reviews! You are great great great! Don't worry the mystery will end. The next few chapters will be dedicated entirely to Iris' past. I just had to string you along one more chapter bwahahahah!! Really any excuse to do an evil laugh! Anyway thank you for reading! 


	9. Lost and Found

Chapter 9: Lost and Found  
  
Severus felt the potion flowing down his throat as he closed his eyes tight and waited. What should he expect? How long would this take?  
  
He was answered by a violently hot feeling invading his body. He felt as if his blood were on fire. The cold air in the room soothed him slightly, and he felt grateful that Iris had kept him from lighting the fire. The beats of his heart were so strong that with each pulse Severus could feel his blood grow hotter, and his mind grow farther away.  
  
A jolt of pain shot through him causing him body to retract into a little ball. His stomach lurched and he felt as though he would retch. Then his mind dropped down into darkness, and all awareness of his own body left. He felt soft sheets around him and sweat pouring off his body...no not his body. Iris.  
  
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Gasping for air and a stronger grasp on her thoughts Iris shot up in bed. She pushed a few unruly locks of her forehead to find herself drenched in sweat. This was the fourth night in a row. The fourth night of dreams she could barely remember. They were vivid while they happened; she could remember the very real, and raw feeling they left in the pit of her stomach, but the only real images she got were a thin hand holding a dagger and a hissing voice in her ear. "It's time my dear..come to me!"  
  
She needed to get out of the room. She needed Severus. She sighed with frustration when she looked at the clock, 3:45 am no chance of seeing Severus now. Standing up abruptly she was surprised to find herself shaking slightly. "Damn it. I always shake." She whispered to herself, and cautiously made her way to the Gryffindor common room. She hated how weak the dreams made her feel, but she just could not shake the fact that they must be important in some way. That was why she kept refusing the dreamless sleep potion Severus continually offered. "No. I know you mean well, but until I remember more of these dreams I just can't bring myself to take it."  
  
She knew the last few nights of lack of sleep were beginning to show in her attitude, and her appearance. "I'm sorry Severus, but you will just have to put up with me for a while." She muttered to the common room walls as she slumped into a couch. She felt so helpless being trapped in the Gryffindor tower all night. Never the type to like the confinement of walls or to be scared of the outside world after dark; she decided to take a walk on the grounds. "Fuck the bloody rules. I can't take this." With that said she gave her hands a quick futile clench to try to stop their continuous trembling, "These things must know something I don't," and stepped out of the common room very quietly.  
  
Glancing behind her Iris saw a look of disapproval in the fat lady's face. "Oh tell me you wouldn't take a stroll outside of the painting if you could." She whispered defensively. The Fat Lady grunted, then smirked and motioned for Iris to continue.  
  
The hallways were bitingly cold. Iris momentarily regretted not grabbing a cloak to cover her rather thin pajamas, but could not bring herself to turn around once she started. The silence of the school at night was both reassuring and frightening. She was not afraid to be alone. She treasured her brief moments of solitude. They always managed to quiet her rapid mind the same way Severus could, but she was so uneasy tonight that every creak in the floor startled her as she slowly made her decent to the front hall. Her destination outside.  
  
She was making her way down the final set of stairs when they made a growling noise beneath her, and she was thrown off her feet. "Great. Hey staircase you know what would be really fantastic?" she snorted sarcastically, "If you would change and leave me in some really strange place to wander around for the rest of the night. Oh good! Your one step ahead of me." She chuckled to herself and she waited for the movement to stop.  
  
"Well, Iris, in the mood for a little exploring?" she whispered to herself as she peered curiously down the dark hall the stairs had left in front of her. "Here goes." She stepped cautiously into the hall pulling her wand out. "Lumos."  
  
The floor was dusty and cobwebs covered many of the statues and picture decorating her path. "Very homey, oh quit talking to yourself you freak." She laughed.  
  
A picture to her side caught her attention. It was an old black and white wizard photo of a large group of students in the bleachers. "Slytherin class of 1944." She read the title along the bottom of the frame. Then glanced up a little to read the names of the students listed at the bottom of the photo. She gasped a when one name caught her attention. "Tom Marvolo Riddle." She counted down the faces and matched the appropriate face to the name. "So you're the little man causing all the big trouble these days." Her face hardened and she somehow wished to harm the photo in a way that would transfer to the man that barely smiled, and waved mockingly at her through the glass. "Yeah, well we will keep you in check, you little shit." She suddenly bent over in the darkness groaning with a sharp pain in her stomach. "Fucking cramps." She breathed through clenched teeth trying to regain a little of her vision. This was definitely not a cramp. The pain subsided and she glanced fearfully at the photo on the wall before quickly continuing her walk through the hall.  
  
The path she chose was continually twisting and turning until she had no idea where she was heading or where she had come from. "Just my luck. Hey Iris where have you been for the past week? Oh wandering through some weird dungeony area dodging really big spiders, and yourself?" She sighed heavily and smiled acknowledging that as usual she used sarcasm to mask her fear. "No one here to impress Iris just admit it. This place scares you to death." She jumped when she heard muffled talking and movement in the distance. Quickly placing herself behind a large statue of a hideously ugly witch she muttered "finite incantatem" under her breathe and hoped whoever was there was either very friendly or very unaware of her presence as her wand light extinguished.  
  
She nearly jumped put from behind the statue with glee when she saw Severus Snape round the corner until she saw a white blond head walking briskly behind him.  
  
"He wants you there in a week Severus. It is expected."  
  
"I know." Severus sounded sharp and irritated.  
  
"Don't make me mention the fact that your dear little mudblood whore is well known to him. We certainly wouldn't want him to become unduly interested in her health. Would we?"  
  
Iris clamped her hand over her mouth to contain the sound of her angry breathing.  
  
She saw a look of panic strike Severus' features before he stopped in his tracks and turned to face Malfoy. "I hardly think the Dark Lord will find it necessary to bother himself with such a trivial presence in the world. I said "I know" and I meant I will be there. Do you need everything spelled out for you."  
  
"Well, well, well, it seems I struck a nerve Severus old boy, but I am pleased to hear that you aren't as stupid as you look." Malfoy chuckled then continued his brisk walk down the hall. "See you there in a week then."  
  
Severus lowered his head and stood motionless for what felt like and eternity.  
  
Iris felt tears stinging in her eyes. "Fucking psychopath. Dark LORD my ass!" she whispered almost silently. The words no sooner left her mouth when another pain wracked her body. She gasped audibly and clutched her stomach.  
  
Her vision disappeared altogether for a moment. She heard rapid footsteps in her direction, and a hand grabbing her roughly, pulling her from her hiding place. The hand let go of her quickly, and she heard a deep familiar voice gasp. "Iris! What are you doing here?" She half grunted, and half laughed in desperation as she fell to the floor in pain.  
  
"What is it? What's wrong?" She felt him kneel beside her and wrap his arms around her. At the feel of his tender embrace the harsh pain in her stomach loosened to a nagging ache. Her vision came back and her breathing returned to normal.  
  
"Oh nothing. I feel great." She laughed awkwardly and clung to him hiding her face in the nook between his neck and shoulder. "I have no idea what's wrong with me, but I have a feeling you have more serious issues to deal with right now."  
  
"You heard. Iris I have to! I don't want to! Please don't think that!"  
  
"I know that." She grunted escaping his arms and standing up quickly. "I know that," she said again softly.  
  
She looked at him as he stood in front of her, needing her to say anything to comfort him. He had never looked so small, and helpless. She pressed close to him taking his hands, and kissing him deeply. It was meant to reassure him she believed him, but it sent warm waves through her body easing the last of the tension in her stomach. He dropped her hands and wrapped his arms around her waist pressing her closer. She found herself becoming lost in the kiss forgetting about Malfoy, her dreams, and her phantom pains all in his embrace. His hands, his lips, his tongue, the rapid rise and fall of his chest against her were all hypnotic. She was consumed with his taste and scent as she reached her hands up and around his neck burying her fingers in his hair. No one else had a clue how passionate, and gentle he was. He projected such a hard image, but Iris only saw the boy who had kissed her so awkwardly four years earlier. He had been so shocked when she had sent him that letter saying in no uncertain words how she felt.  
  
It was Severus who broke the kiss. He stepped back and she felt the heat in her body recede from the loss of his body pressed so close to hers. "I love you." He looked at the floor sadly.  
  
"I love you too Severus." She smiled. "We will find a way out of this."  
  
"No. I mean, I love you and I can't bring you into this. It is too dangerous Iris."  
  
"Severus." she snapped, "Don't you dare think you have the option of going through this without me! I refuse to walk away from you just because your life is..." She paused and took in a deep breathe trying to find away to state the obvious without too much pain, "...becoming complicated." She knew he could not argue with her when she got like this. They had been through enough fights for him to see when she had decided and he had no choice but to allow her to "win." "I don't fall in love easily Severus. I won't let you push me away to be the gallant hero and save me! I would rather..." She choked on her words, "You don't have a choice is all I am saying." She fought to make her tone casual and cheerful, "You're stuck with me. Even if you hated me, I would love you."  
  
His featured softened and he looked at her with such adoration that she actually felt the heat of the blush that spread across her face. She suddenly realized how dangerous his life would become and felt a cold dread creep over her in wake of that thought. She knew she would cry if she did not reassure herself that the man standing in front of her was really there, warm, and alive. The pictures of his face frozen white and lifeless in a corpse like pose were causing her body to shake. She rushed forward and claimed his lips once more with her own.  
  
Still the images haunted her brain. Her arms pulled him closer to her almost violently. He responded instantly deepening the kiss and holding her trembling body against his own with a fervor that matched her own. Obviously afraid of losing her as well he pulled his lips away from hers and buried his face in her hair saying, "I'll find a way to come back to you. I promise."  
  
Nodding in response Iris clasped his face in her hands, and said simple, "I need you." Heat radiated from her words. Severus looked down at her with a mixture of confusion and surprise. Her hands pulled his face closer, and when his lips were a mere centimeter from her own she repeated her words. "I need you Severus. Tonight. Before I have a chance to lose you."  
  
He read the meaning in her eyes and took a step forward but moved his head preventing the kiss. "Are you certain? Don't do this out of some rash feeling. You are more than that to me."  
  
"Severus," her soft laugher chimed in his ear, "I love you." She kissed his neck just below his ear and traced the line down to his collar bone. Moving her hands slowly she began to unclasp his cloak. His hand came up to rest on her cheek nudging her to look at him. They locked eyes, and she smiled allowing his cloak to fall from her fingers to the floor. He smiled down at her and pressed her to him kissing her so passionately that her knees buckled slightly under her. He caught her and she steadied herself continuing her task of undressing him. She did it blindly now not wanting to break the kiss. She fumbled with a few buttons laughing softly into his mouth at her struggle. He pulled back smiling slightly and helping her until his shirt fell to the floor with a rustle of fabric, and he stood bare chested before her.  
  
The fear pressing into her chest was almost familiar now, but she still felt the need to try to stifle it with closeness. She rested her head on his chest and began to kiss him across the firm surface. He was warm and salty to taste.She traced his nipples causing Severus to gasp softly. He once again pushed her back slightly this time to allow his hand to reach up under her night shirt. Her breathing became shaky and her heartbeat increased. The fabric separating her from Severus felt like a baracade. She hastily unbuttoned her shirt allowing it to fall to the floor behind her.  
  
She blushed as the cold night air hit her naked breasts causing her nipples to respond insantly. She felt vulnerable and strange apart from him, and half naked in the darkness. As if sensing her need Severus pulled her close encircling her with his arms, and instantly she felt safe, and warm. As she let out the sigh that had been trapped in he held breath she felt it send shivers alonfg Severus' skin. She needed him deserately.  
  
She lowered her hands tugging at the buttons closing the fly of his pants while he responed by simply pushing down on the elastic bands of her pajama pants, and underwear until they fell effortlessly to her ankles. She placed her hands on his shoulders steadying herself while she stepped out of them. She now stood entirely naked before him and he stood shirtles, with an open fly. She felt no insecurity with her body. Severus' eyes called her beautiful over and over, but he still remained half clothed."This will not do."  
  
Kissing his neck once more she whispered in a seductive voice that surprised her, "I am naked and you have pants," she bit his neck playfully "that is hardly fair." He laughed as he reached down and pushed the offending articled off his hips till it too fell to his ankles. He used her method holding onto her shoulders as her stepped out of his pants all the while looking into her eyes lovingly. Once the pants were no longer attached to his person he picked up both of their clothing sets tossing them behind the stature, and raised an eyebrow at her in triumph.  
  
"Oh yes brilliantly managed," she joked as her hands traced the length of his sided resting on his hip bones. She stepped backwards leading him to the space behind the witch statue. Once safely in their shelter he leaned her against the wall covering her in kisses. His hands sending shivers through her as they traveled over her bare skin. She lowered herself to the floor holding onto his hand, and pulling him down over her. She smiled up at him, and bit her bottom lip playfully. He leaned over, and took over her task nibbling her lip lightly and kissing every section of her mouth individually. He kissed her jawline following it to her ear. Nibbling that too he softly whispered "You are so beautiful." Iris smiled and pulled him to her in response.  
  
It was awkward and bumbling, and excruciatingly beautiful. Exactly the way to young lovers should be when inexperienced hands search over each others bodies. They acheingly sought release from the knowledge they both had gained. Fevered kissed, and trembling touches replace frightened thoughts and crys of pain. Drowning in each others arms they felt safe again, and far from the reach of evil. Sensations, and movements are brand new, raw, embarrassing, and exciting. Moans and giggles are muffled to prevent detection. They moved almost silently; each trying desperatly to memorize the feel, and taste of the other body writhing before them. In the end they both lay in the hallway afraid to look each other in the face, but relishing the feeling of a warm body next to theirs. The contact of sweaty skin against skin. Fingers tracing over newly formed blushes on each others bodies and breathing slowly but steadily becoming more and more relaxed. Showering shoulders, hands, arms, necks, and lips with almost chaste kisses. Iris sighed and hugged him closer to her. She raised her eyes to him all of the suddenly and blurt out.  
  
"Where are we anyway?" she almost laughed.  
  
"About a five minutes walk from my common room."  
  
"oh."  
  
"How did you get down here?"  
  
"The staircases evidently didn't like the idea of me taking a walk on the grounds, and sent me your way. Can't really say that I am disappointed." She kissed his chest and, taking one of his hands in hers she began playing with all of his finger. he was silent for a moment.  
  
"You shouldn't you know," she looked at him questioningly, "go walking on the grounds late at night."  
  
"Why?"  
  
His black eyes glazed over for a moment. "He meets in the Forrest. It's too close to the school. Promise you won't try again."  
  
"Severus. You should go to Dumbledore. He would understand. He is supposed to be very strong in the resistance."  
  
He became stiffen under her. "You should get dressed love. I will walk you back. They will talk if you don't return until sunrise." He held her tightly to him one last time and kissed her gently. His lips felt feverish and wet against her cold and frightened ones.  
  
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*******Patience readers...Iris' past will unravel very soon. I firmly believe this chapter was necessary, and I challenge anyone who feels otherwise! :)  
  
Date of Tom Riddle's final year found at the Harry Potter Timeline 


	10. It Begins

Chapter 10: It Begins  
  
The Great Hall was a giant blur of bodies and noises as Iris squinted to separate all the chaos into the distinct objects, faces, and voices she had become so familiar with over the past six year. No sleep was really beginning to take its toll on her weary body. She couldn't remember if it was usually this noisy in the mornings, but she knew she could not stomach all the cacophony today. She was simply waiting for Severus. He had insisted that she meet him there so he could give her some dreamless sleep potion. "If it at least keeps you from wandering around places you shouldn't be at night it's worth the loss of the dreams. I really don't care how curious you are."  
  
Iris smirked inwardly. She knew he was right. She would take it for a few nights, but no longer. Her entire being was screaming out to know the rest of the dream, but lack of sleep was turning her into a snappish zombie. Lily had remarked that she had been "Turning into a red haired Petunia the past few days." That was enough to make Iris down a whole cauldron of dreamless sleep potion as well as cast a memory charm on anyone who had been around during the time of her appalling behavior. Petunia had never been known for her charm. She was rather "meticulous." That was Iris' favorite word to describe her not so favorite sister. It only had a negative meaning to those who heard the hard edge to Iris' voice otherwise it could or could not be taken as a compliment.  
  
Leaning against the wall Iris allowed her heavy eyelids to droop until the slammed shut against her straining, and bloodshot eyes. "Exactly how inappropriate is it to sleep against a wall?" Iris found herself thinking. She smiled knowing the strange looks she must be getting from first years who were wondering if that was common and acceptable behavior.  
  
"This is hardly time for a little catnap Miss Evans." A silky voice whispered in her ear.  
  
Keeping her eyes clamped shut Iris responded as condescendingly as she could, "Unless you have the goods keep on walking slimeball." He kissed her cheek softly.  
  
"Iris." His tone came out impatient and amused all at once.  
  
"All right. My eyes are open. I am looking at you. What else do you want?" Severus raised his eyebrows suggestively. "Oh really? Well, meet me later lover boy." She laughed feeling more energy enter her body.  
  
"This is the dreamless sleep potion you promised you would take," she noticed the obvious stress on the word 'promised,' and chuckled a little in response, "and this is another little necessity."  
  
Iris looked at him questioningly. "Am I going to be a guinea pig and just test this, or are you going to tell me what it is?"  
  
He leaned closer, and looked her straight in the eyes. "It is a contraceptive potion. I didn't think you had taken one before, given the...spontaneous nature of.." He stopped. Iris beamed at him. He always became so formal when he was uncomfortable.  
  
"I didn't. Thank you. I was going to brew one today, but I will gladly take yours." With that she uncorked the bottle and took a long drink. "How much do I need was that enough?"  
  
"Take the whole bottle for a year of continuos protection, and a gulp like that for.... a morning after situation. She locked eyes with him nodding, and drank the rest immediately. Severus grinned. "That is the more direct method."  
  
"And tasty too." She grimaced.  
  
"Are you going in?"  
  
"I'm not really hungry." She shook her head and placed the other potion in a secure pocket of her robe handing the empty bottle back to Severus.  
  
"Would you care for a walk."  
  
"Would I!" She said with mock enthusiasm, but took his arm with a reassuring squeeze.  
  
"You are a pest when you are tired."  
  
"The way you talk."  
  
"I wanted to make sure you were...all right. Are you?"  
  
She looked over at him smiling softly. "Yes, of course I am." Her face became more serious. "Are you?"  
  
He didn't answer.  
  
"Severus, tell me you are going to Dumbledore."  
  
"I can't Iris. There is nothing Dumbledore can do. In a week I have to go to him. It's expected of me."  
  
"By who?" Her voice burst out a strained whisper still managing to be laced with a poisonous ring. "By Lucius Malfoy?"  
  
"By my family Iris." He paused and let his gaze fall to the floor in front of them. "They are all marked, and now that I am of age I...it is what I have to do."  
  
"Severus that is ridiculous." She was becoming panicked. "You don't have to. You have a choice. I know it's a hard one but you can't link yourself forever with that...thing. I've heard all these stories. All these terrible stories of the things he has done. Not just to his victims Severus; to his followers too."  
  
"I'm sure they are true." He said flatly with no emotion breaking through his smooth tones.  
  
"Then why in the hell are you seriously considering this?" She stopped their progression down the hall and stood facing him. Her face was bright red from anger and she tugged her hair behind her ears exasperated. She felt furious with him for not seeing what this meant. Furious yes, and frightened she would be giving him over to torture and death. She was helpless. She didn't know what to say to him to keep him from going. She didn't know who to go to for help without betraying his confidence. She didn't know how to look at him, or how not to. She didn't even know how to simply stand still because all her emotions were beginning to avalanche, and she couldn't think of anything to do with her hands.  
  
In reply Severus only looked at her with steel encased eyes. "I have to go to class Iris," and he left her standing in the hallway steaming with rage.  
  
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Once again Iris woke drenched in sweat. The dreamless sleep potion lay untouched in the pocket of her robe; she had been to angry with him to take it. It was stupid, but somehow she thought that by not taking it she was somehow winning the argument and keeping him from Voldemort. Still not able to remember any more of the dream, Iris felt like throwing something. It had been much more intense tonight. She was left more raw and numb inside.  
  
She grabbed her wand and was about to light it when she felt the same searing pain in her stomach that had sprung upon her the twice the night before. It was stronger this time causing her vision to blacken as well as an overwhelming need to get to a toilet fast and throw up. She groaned loudly as she dropped to her knees from her bed.  
  
"Iris? Is something wrong? Are you all right?" A soft voice next to her and then small hands helping her back onto her bed.  
  
"Emily...can you...get Lily." She pushed the words through her harsh pain.  
  
Iris waited for what felt like an eternity, but was most likely around five minutes. She concentrated on each breath. In. A knife in her stomach. Out. Like swallowing razors. In. What the hell is happening to me. Out. Lily please hurry.  
  
"Iris?" Lily's voice was pinched by fear but her hands and arms were steady as she wrapped them around her baby sister. "What is it?"  
  
"Stomach...hurts." Iris almost laughed at how silly it must look. Like a child overreacting to a little stomach flu. Lily seemed to take in the seriousness of her sisters pain. Iris had never been one to complain during sickness, or injury.  
  
Lily slipped her arm around Iris' back and lifted her gently off the bed. "I am going to take you to the bathroom. I don't know if you need to throw up or anything, but....then we will go to the infirmary. All right?" Iris grunted in reply thankful to be feeling safe and taken care of. "Thank you Emily. Can you go ahead and tell Madam Pomfrey we are coming?" The sound of soft footsteps and a door closing alerted Iris that Emily had taken the direction.  
  
"Come on hun." Lily helped Iris kneel by the toilet. She held her hair and rubbed her back affectionately while Iris allowed herself to empty the days meals into the white porcelain bowl in front of her leaving the taste of metal in its wake. Slowly the pain clenching her stomach like a clamp eased to the same dull ache it had the day before. Iris' vision returned illuminating the sparse decoration of the girls lavatory and her sister's beautiful concerned face.  
  
"Hi Lily." Iris chuckled a little. "Sleep well?"  
  
"You goof." Lily hit Iris' arm softly in mock disapproval. "Come on lets get you to the infirmary. Are you well enough to stand?"  
  
"Lets find out." Iris took the hand Lily extended and pulled her self up very ungracefully. "Last time I eat the spaghetti dinner." She joked.  
  
"What happened? Do you have an idea?" They talked softly as they made the long trench to see the medi-witch.  
  
"I don't know. I had another dream, and I woke up like you found me. It hurt a little bit."  
  
"I'll bet. You looked like death. First time I've ever been sent for in the middle of the night. You scared me."  
  
"Sorry."  
  
"It's fine. It's my job. You said you had another dream? Do you usually have pain with the dreams?"  
  
"Only yesterday and today."  
  
"Hunny you should talk to Dumbledore about this. It isn't normal to go into a sort of attack after a nightmare."  
  
"I'll be all right. I am probably just eating bad and having cramps. Or maybe I swallowed a small samurai warrior who is slowly hacking my stomach to pieces."  
  
"Very funny." She brushed the hair out of Iris' eyes. "Talk to Dumbledore ok?"  
  
"Let me try the dreamless sleep potion Severus made first."  
  
"Well, why didn't you take that tonight?" Lily looked at Iris sheepishly.  
  
"We got in a fight and...I didn't so much feel like drinking up afterwards."  
  
Lily laughed and hugged Iris to her. "Well, either forgive and take it, or I don't know...just take it."  
  
After being inspected for a half an hour and declared healthy Madam Pomfrey ushered the Evans girls out. Iris held a small bottle in her hand that eased cramping.  
  
"No matter what is wrong with girls these days she gives us this stuff." Iris glared at the bottle. "It tastes like four day old broccoli. Nobody takes it anymore."  
  
"I have about five bottles of the stuff she's given me in my room if you run out." Lily teased.  
  
"Oh good! I was worried!" Iris grabbed her sisters hand. "Thanks Lily."  
  
Lily kissed the top of Iris' head. Iris suddenly felt very restless. "Look, I'm not going to be able to get back to sleep. I'm going to take a walk. You go on without me."  
  
Lily hesitated but finally smiled and dropped Iris' hand. "OK be careful you don't get caught. We can't afford to lose any more points."  
  
Iris grinned as she watched her sister slowly disappear into the darkness. She should remember to talk to Lily more often she felt more centered and normal. She felt like her problems were not really that big after all.  
  
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Without realizing it Iris began a path outside to the Hogwarts grounds. She was reaching out to open the front door when a voice from behind her made her freeze.  
  
"I thought you said you weren't going to try this again."  
  
"I didn't say anything if you remember correctly. What are you doing here Severus?" She eyed him suspiciously. He was extremely pale and his eyes did not seem to be able to focus on anything.  
  
"I have to.....I couldn't sleep."  
  
"You're going tonight aren't you? It's been changed. You're being marked tonight." Iris felt like her throat was closing up and her heart was beating so fiercely she was sure it was visible beneath her shirt.  
  
"Go back to bed Iris."  
  
"No."  
  
He pulled her into a nearby hallway with her struggling to be released the whole while. "Fine! Don't go back to bed but for gods sake stay hidden here! Malfoy is coming and you don't want to be seen."  
  
"Oh fuck Malfoy!" She was trying to hide the tears that streamed down her face.  
  
"Iris please just wait here. Lucius will be here any second. There is nothing you can do."  
  
"I am not going to let you throw yourself at that psychotic man's feet! He is sick Severus! Please don't go. Please, I don't want to lose you, I love you!"  
  
"Iris, ...I....have to."  
  
"You don't. Go to Dumbledore. Now. If you don't I will." And with that said Iris pulled away from Severus, and ran down the hallway towards Dumbledore's office. After she had run for a few minutes she stopped out of breath and furious. "Shit. He isn't going to be there this late. Where are his quarters? Are they in the same place?" Not waiting think any further Iris decided she would just stop Severus from going herself. If that meant she would curse him them so be it.  
  
Finding no one in the entryway Iris burst through the door and out into the night air. She looked around, but saw no footprints and heard no voices. If he had already left with Malfoy it was too late. It was over. She sank to her knees in defeat. It was then that the voice began.  
  
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************Hello readers!!!! Hello hello. Hey guess what I just found out. Stupid me had unintentionally blocked anonymous reviews. Now I have no idea whether people have tried to leave me them during this time, but hey it is all corrected. Feel free to tell me how much you hate/love me under the delicious cover of anonymity. Huzzah!  
  
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	11. The Beckoning

Chapter 11: The Beckoning  
  
Iris shook her head trying to clear it of the voice from her dreams. "It is time..." it beckoned. She growled in protest and beat the floor with her fists. She was becoming dizzy and disoriented. The tears falling from her eyes were clouding her vision. She couldn't move her sorrow was weighing her down, but some strange tiny part of her was pulled in the direction of the Forrest.  
  
"Come to me...."  
  
Her eyes grew wide open and all of her instincts told her to run. Run as far away from the Forrest as she could. She pushed herself up off the ground barely feeling the weight of her own body as a numbness set over her. She ran away from the Forrest taking shelter near a greenhouse. She sank to the floor again knowing her legs could not hold her very much longer. Fear gripped every muscle in her body. Her poured seemed to drip the terror she felt. That voice was repeating itself over and over in her mind. It had to be in her mind. She couldn't actually be hearing it.  
  
She suddenly felt immense regret for not taking the dreamless sleep potion. The dreams were obviously affecting her thoughts. That was all that was happening. She tried to reassure herself that the voice growing louder and louder in her ear was merely a reaction to her nightmare and the emotional trauma tonight had been.  
  
"Come to me my dear. It is time to join me. You have the gift, but I can give you the power to make it strong. To wield that power...."  
  
She closed her eyes willing the voice to stop; praying that this pull from the Forrest was only her desire to find Severus. Her mind flew back to Severus. What if he was in the Forrest? Was he hurt? Was he in danger? Could he get away? Would he even try? As her thoughts turned in his direction she did not even notice that she had begun a slow rhythmic walk towards the Forrest. He feet hit the floor evenly like a bride in her wedding march.  
  
When the realization of her own movement dawned on her she could do nothing to stop it. She began to fall farther and farther back into the recesses of her mind. She saw the walk as it had been in her dreams. Like standing back and watching another person she observed her own movements. It was strangely graceful, and frightening the way her body glided through the spaces between the trees. It knew where to go. It was as if this had all happened before. She became vaguely aware of other people in the Forrest. She did not see them but rather, she sensed them. This one was twenty feet away, while that one was forty. Most were menacing presences. Some only frightened, but she knew she would not be harmed by any of these. It was the long finger motioning her through the dark recesses of the Forrest that sent beads of icy sweat running down her back. This man was to be feared.  
  
Someone approached her. She turned silently to greet the stranger. A hooded man with a white mask. He came upon her so quickly that she barely had time to react when he seized her by the back of the neck. She felt the harsh brush of the dark fabric of his cloak on her face, and the cold spidery fingers clenching her neck. Then there was nothing.  
  
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Iris awoke with her head resting on a dirty floor covered in dead leaves and straw. She couldn't move her arms. Tugging at them panic stricken she realized she was chained to this floor in the shape of a large x. Her arms above her in shackles and her feet below her strapped in a similar fashion.  
  
She heard muffled talking in the distance. Trying to lay a still as possible Iris closed her eyes and listened.  
  
"It was a good meeting tonight master."  
  
"No thanks to you and your pathetic efforts at recruiting. We almost lost the new young one."  
  
"But the girl sire! She is here."  
  
"Yes, She is. So I no longer require your assistance. I have her now." There was silence for a moment. " Avada Kedavra" and then the sound of a body falling to the floor.  
  
Iris gasped inhaling some of the dirt beneath her. She choked, and coughed loudly propelling the grime from her swollen throat. She heard heavy measured footsteps approaching her, and a body leaning over her. She closed her eyes allowing her tears to fall freely.  
  
"Welcome my dear. It has been a long task finding you, and drawing you to me. Alohomora." The shackled binding her wrists and ankles fell open. She did not know whether to move or stay still. "Due rise and greet you new master. It is not every day two who will be so united meet for the first time."  
  
Propelled by some outside force once again Iris felt her body rise and turn in the direction of the penetrating voice. She held her eyes closed tight. A low and disgusting laugh began to emanate from the space in front of her. "So shy. We have little time for such eccentricities my child." She felt her eyelids rip open against her will and she lost the ability to breathe as she stared into the eyes of Lord Voldemort.  
  
It was him. There was no other possible explanation. She could not draw her eyes away despite her best efforts. She saw deep into him past his appearance now of a wiry man with sallow skin and into his eyes. She saw him down low and degraded. Covering his face with a hood. Hideous unthinkable slits rather than facial features. Skin that looked almost like tiny scales radiating evil from every pore. The man standing in front of her flickered for a minute between a semi normal image and this picture of a grotesque macabre fantasy. Until all she saw was a frightening snake like creature.  
  
"We are already connected you know. I have servants who saw to that. One in particular. A young Mr. Malfoy. Feeding you potions that allowed me to visit you in dreams. To take more control of your body each day until now you are almost completely mine. Now we have only the fun to play out. I can hardly contain my anticipation.  
  
"You have no idea what you are or what you will become do you?" He sneered and his teeth seemed to be living breathing entities of evil within him. "You are a seer. A pathetically unskilled one it is true, but you hold many other qualities that I searched for. Along with a certain loyalty that I find extremely useful. No, you will never betray me. Not when the consequences are so...unpleasant for you loved one."  
  
Images of Severus flashed in her mind. He was cold, hard and dead on the floor before her. She cried out unable to contain her fear.  
  
"Do not worry little one. He is fine, for now. I have you now. You are indeed a seer, but you will be the most powerful seer man has ever known. You will aide me as no other could." He laughed now. The sound reminded Iris of what a thousand cries of pain would be if they were compressed into one foul screeching chuckle.  
  
"Yes, you are perfect." He passed by her placing a mangled hand on her shoulder. "Like I said your skills as a seer could have gone unnoticed, they are truly nothing to be gawked at, but you are intelligent. Yes, you are very intelligent. Beautiful as well, but not untouchably beautiful. That was a necessity. The world is often fooled by beauty and you will draw in them all. Your wit, your temper...I had never hoped to find such fire. Such capacity to fuel power from anger. You feel it burning in you right now don't you."  
  
He had been circling Iris' trembling form tracing a long corpse like finger along her face and neck. He now stopped directly in front of her leaned his face in toward hers as if he would kiss her. The sides of his mouth twisted upwards in a sick mockery of a smile and Iris smelled death leak out from between his worm like lips.  
  
She felt weak and sick. He knees gave out and she longed for the fall that was ahead on her. Anything to separate her from the feeling of bile rising from her stomach when he was that close to her.  
  
He caught her with one spidery arm, and pulled her close to him. He skin froze and charred all at once under his foul touch. "Yes, I can feel your anger...and your fear." His laugh sent waves of revulsion through Iris. She could not hold it in any more. He dropped her to the floor, and she retched until nothing but dry heaves would leave her trembling weakened form.  
  
"It is time to begin my pet." Iris felt him hit the back of her head, and once again she was falling into darkness.  
  
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Iris opened her eyes slowly. She hoped that it had all been a dream and that the throbbing in her head was the result of too much butterbeer. It wasn't.  
  
Her eyes struggled to adjust to the darkness of the room. It was more of a cave actually. She was once again tied to a hard surface. This time she was face up on what felt like a wood. She assumed it was a table. She was shivering uncontrollably. The cold air in the room was hitting her everywhere. Finally the reason for this registered in her weakened state. "Dear God I am naked."  
  
Frantically Iris searched the room for any other occupants. Her tension eased slightly when she knew that there were none. She was alone, for now. All at once the reality of her situation hit her. Her body melted into the hard table underneath her. There was no hope. She was trapped in some God forsaken place with the most vile creation of mankind since Grindelwald. The resistance had been working for years to locate, and destroy him. There was no reason to believe that they would have better luck now just because she had the unfortunate destiny to be his....oh God what was she? What was he going to do to her?  
  
In the far corner of the cave she heard hinges of a door squeak and unmistakable unfathomable scent of living death as Voldemort approached. The fear that gripped Iris was so cold and intense that it left her body lifeless. She was frozen in place. All awareness of herself left as she counted down the steps of her dreaded companions decent to her side.  
  
"Ah, you have awoken my pet. Then we indeed shall begin." He stepped back and Iris heard the sound of metal scraping a stone surface. He was sharpening something. "This is a very ancient very powerful ritual. You are privileged to play such a ...vital role in its completion. We are going to become joined. Blood companions seers into the past, present, and future. More powerful than you can even imagine." Iris closed her eyes muttering a silent prayer for the quick release of death rather than an eternity joined with this creature. He clicked his tongue at her in disapproval. "Oh, it's simply no fun when you don't watch. I want you to remember this forever." Once again her eyelids were thrust open. She held her breath trying to prepare for the onslaught of pain that would surely follow a statement like that. Nothing could have prepared her for this.  
  
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*****Thankyou again for the reviews. Sinister Papaya Fondue I am happy to hear you have weakness for a steamy Snape scene as well! Ultrahotpink thank you so much for reading. I'm very pleased you thought my story original. I have to admit I assume there are about a thousand out there just like it, but I relish the compliment nonetheless! I hope whatever it is its enjoyable! :) 


	12. Devil Blood

Chapter 12: Devil Blood  
It was not Iris that received the initial icy touch of Voldemort's dagger.  
  
Tears streamed down her face as she watched the young wizard writhe in pain against the assault of the sharp steel. His screams were echoing over, and over in her ears.  
  
The dagger traced a line down the center of the man's chest, pausing briefly at his stomach, only to be plunged deeply into his flesh. More screams pierced through the otherwise deadly silence as Voldemort slipped his hand deep inside the dripping wound. The grin the filled every crevice of Voldemort's face sent shivers of revulsion down Iris' back. When Voldemort's hand emerged from its hidden task it held a mass of flesh and blood pulsing in his grasp.  
  
A heart. A heart, still beating. Frozen and clammy with shock Iris watched as Voldemort lay the heart on the table. Iris could not unlock her gaze from the mound of flesh as Voldemort lovingly sliced the organ into two pieces. The graying corpse that was once the young wizard hung limp in its tethers.  
  
A low rumbling laugh erupted from deep within his chest. The thunderous noise made her ears ache. Her body instinctively contracted against the ties that secured her to her place on the table. Panicked she struggled to free herself pulling with all her strength against the ropes. She felt the sharp fibers cutting deeply against her wrist and ankles. She gave more force to her struggle with the harsh restraints ignoring the feel of her own warm drops blood flowing from the cuts.  
  
His laughter grew deeper, and more invasive. "Now, now my dear that will not do at all."  
  
Suddenly he was upon her; leaning his whole body over hers. His sickly face and mouth hovered directly above Iris' own. Her face was white with fear as he tilted his head and hissed lowly at her. At that moment Iris knew there was not evil in the world that this devil would nor harness and make his own, and now she would be a part of that.  
  
His tongue slithered out of his mouth flicking at her lips and sending waves of tremors rumbling through her fragile frame. "Soon my pet you will feel the power, and the elation that comes from ridding the world of the meek and unworthy. The expendable should not be mourned or missed, but eliminated."  
  
She felt him shift his body as one of his hands raised to her face. He still clutched half of the innocent man's heart. He waved it gently over her. "It's beautiful isn't it?" Warm drops of blood fell onto Iris' eyelids as they escaped the grim enclosure of his hand. Iris felt them mingle with her tears. New pulses of revulsion now swept through her as she smelled the cold and foul stench of blood and death pressed so close to her. She was going to throw up again.  
  
Voldemort tightened his grip on the heart sending rivers of blood flowing onto Iris' lips. He leaned farther forward pressing his withered lips into her own, and wrenched her mouth open with his tongue.  
  
The blood dripped inside, filling her mouth to the brim with both the vile substance and his snakelike tongue. The terror of this act put her nausea behind her. He thrust deeper into her mouth somehow catching her tongue in his own pulling it forward, and bit down. Iris screamed into his mouth and he released her. Rising up, and releasing his grip on Iris, Voldemort's laugh mingled deeply with her screams and almost at once Iris felt the cold steel of his dagger ripping through her skin.  
  
His incisions were deep and slow drawing the most pain as possible. He cut a circle around her heart and lifted her skin off of the chosen area. Iris felt herself drift out of consciousness; the pain was too intense. Each time that happened she would feel a jolt of lightening reviving her and hear his foul laughter echoing in the empty room.  
  
The knife plunged into the space between her ribcage, and splitting her apart. Praying for death Iris heard him mutter spells under his breathe and opened her eyes to see him pouring a think silver liquid into her open chest. Unicorn blood.  
  
A searing and explosive pain exploded in her as she tried to scream, but the damage being done to her lungs caused a breathy and raspy moan escape from her lips instead.  
  
"Yes, my pet. I must keep you alive during this. Lucky for you this vital ingredient came wandering radiantly into my presence just the other day. " He leaned over her chest watching with glee as the silver blood covered her heart, and strengthened its rhythm. Once again the twisted laughter filled her ears, and he leaned closer lapping the dripping silver liquid directly off her exposed and pulsing organ.  
  
Iris closed her eyes and concentrated all her being on escape. If she could not achieve physical escape she would at least succeed in the mental kind. She thought of her home, of her friends, of her happy life at Hogwarts, but most of all she thought of Severus. Giving her mind entirely over to the memory of being encased in his heavenly embrace, Iris felt the pain recede from her body. Her mind began to drift away into the safety of the recesses of her own memories.  
  
"NO!" This time he screamed and pounded the table in rage. "You will feel every stroke of my blade and every drop of blood that escapes your body!" Voldemort gripped the sides of her face and stared piercingly into her eyes. His voice came out slow, and drawling like the mangled purr of a cat. "We have only a small way to go pet, and I require your full attention."  
  
Voldemort crept to the side lifting the bottle of unicorn blood to his lips draining it of all its contents. He then held his own wrist over a chalice containing the remnants of the innocent man's heart. Raising the dagger to his own hand he swiftly cut a deep gash and his crazed eyes watched passionately as his blood hit the heart. The chalice began to steam and bubble. He muttered a healing charm and the wound on his hand sealed leaving a small red scar as the only evidence of his action.  
  
He lifted the heart out of the chalice, and squeezed the last droplets of blood from the decaying flesh. Throwing the heart to the side he brought the chalice over to Iris. Locking her eyes in his gaze, he pouring the vile and steaming mixture into her open wound. Iris felt jolts of pain travel through all of her veins. The pain pulsed repeatedly with the beating of her heart. He replaced her severed skin over her wound. The skin slowly reattached itself sealing the potion within her body.  
  
Iris screamed for hours as the foul mixture was pumped through every inch of her body. She felt like tiny hands were crawling through her veins pushing the potion on in its journey. Finally exhausted, and unable to feel anything besides the excruciating pain Iris' body gave in the pain and she fell unconscious on the table. The last thing she heard was the laugh that had tortured her soul throughout the night.  
  
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***** I just really didn't enjoy writing this. I am too much a sucker for happy stuff, but I had to write this. I think it is a little rushed I may go back and embellish/fix it later. I have a feeling i will never feel satisfies with it. I will post a note if it changes at all.  
  
Sinister Papaya Fondue, that review made me laugh! Thanks for reading and reviewing so consistently. Honestly that's amazing to me!  
  
Skye Niall, so glad you like it! Thank you so so much for reviewing! Yea a new reader! 


	13. The Absence and The Eyes

Chapter Thirteen: The Absence and The Eyes  
  
For a moment she forgot what had happened. The concrete floor was cold, and damp beneath Iris' cheek. As she raised her head off the ground she found her body too weak to fully respond. The memories flooded her mind, and Iris felt as though a large weight now covered her chest.  
  
"Voldemort" she whispered the name into the stifled night air. The unfamiliar word burst from beneath her chapped lips causing her body to shiver in remembrance.  
  
Finally pulling herself up into a sitting position Iris realized that she had been moved to different room. She lay at the edge of an indoor lake. The entire room was covered in a gray marble like stone and on the other side of the lake across from where she sat stood a giant stone sculpture of the head of Salazar Slytherin. She recognized him immediately from a painting she had seen in the dungeons. Quickly Iris scanned the room searching for other occupants. She was alone.  
  
Taking a deep breath she raised herself slowly to her feet and began to explore her surroundings. The movement hurt her, but she found herself needing it. It was a pain she could identify, and concentrate on drawing her thoughts away from whatever horrors her future may now hold for her. Finding that all paths on her side of the lake only led to oversized sewer pipes Iris eyed Salazar's head suspiciously. A room like this was not built for mere looks. There was something important here and she would find it.  
  
Without further thought Iris walked directly into the lake hoping that there were no strange animals in its shadowy depths who would not welcome a visitor she swiftly and efficiently occasionally feeling the brush of something against her leg and picking up her speed. Clutching the other edge she pulled herself up onto the dry ground. It must have been farther than she thought because she was out of breath, and staring up at the utterly enormous ear of the founder of Slytherin house.  
  
Iris searched the stone sculpture for what felt like hours. She pressed on protruding parts like buttons, dug into recesses, and scanned as much of the upper sections as her aching eyes would allow. Finally somewhere around the side of the neck Iris pushed hard on a section of rock that looked a minute shade darker than the rest.  
  
Lines of red light burst from underneath her hands and traced the outline of a door on the surface of the hard rock. Iris stepped back quickly as the door swung violently open revealing a long dark passage. Iris mentally cursed her lack of wand as she put one hand on either wall of the narrow hall and began her decent into the inside of the sculpture. It was not long before she felt a change in texture to her left. She brushed her hands over the surface feeling for a door knob or knot. She found a small bump where the door knob would have been and pressed roughly down on it. Another door swung open and this time she was in a well lit room full of strange artifacts and items.  
  
Ever wall was covered in floor to ceiling shelves and these were packed with bottles jars and gruesome looking props. Knives, chains, shrunken heads, and withered lifeless hands. Iris turned to see a wall that contained only items made from human body parts. Iris shivered and pulled her tattered and wet robe tighter around herself.  
  
It was then that she became aware that someone had dressed her again. Her robe was the same but underneath she wore a deep purple dress. It was drenched in water from her swim, but she saw that must have been extremely beautiful before. It was however, much too revealing for Iris' taste. The neckline plunged almost to her belly button revealing the entire midsection of her chest and cleavage. She was relieved to see that the rest of her breasts were completely covered and secure. There was a log slit in the skirt that caused her entire leg to reveal itself each time she took a step. The dress was beaded elegantly, and dark embroidered ribbons trimmed the neckline and the bottom hem.  
  
Why would someone who had just tortured her dress her so extravagantly? Iris felt her stomach drop when her mind supplied her with the obvious reasons for primping young female captives. Closing her eyes Iris pushed those thoughts away and concentrated on the contents of the room. She ran her hand along the edge of a large dagger her teeth clenching as she imagined what its last task might have been.  
  
A jolt of electricity ran up her arm and she lost all feeling in her body. Visions of black cloaks, blood, and sickening smiles filled her subconsciousness until she collapsed on the floor and the world went dark for a brief moment.  
  
Iris stifled a sob. She was a seer. That's what just happened, she had a vision. Whatever Voldemort had done to her worked. Tears blurred her vision as she scrambled to her feet and ran out of the room and down the dark hallway frantically searching for a way out when she found her feet suddenly stuck to the floor and the grim face of Voldemort staring back at her.  
  
"Where are you headed to my pet? I have a job for you, but what have you done with my beautiful gift." His fingered traced down the length of Iris' plunging neckline. As his skin grazed her own she felt a strange completeness. Like her body was reaching for his. She drew in a raspy breathe and willed her body to recoil to his touch the way her every emotion and thought did, but still her blood betrayed her. It wanted his touch.  
  
He began a deep rumbling laugh that echoed through Iris' empty shell of a body. "Yes, my pet. You feel the connection now don't you? My blood flows through your veins. I have won you." With those words Voldemort stepped so close to Iris that his entire face became a blur of wrinkled and putrid skin. She could not even make out his features; she could only smell his stale breath, and pray for release from this nightmare. Iris closed her eyes knowing that no amount of soap, and boiling water could ever make her feel clean again.  
  
He muttered a drying spell and pulled off Iris' torn outer robe. "Now, my pet, you look presentable. I will take you to my guest. You will tell me everything he knows."  
  
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Iris soon learned the extent of her powers she saw a new guest every night. She would charm them and the grab hold of them, opening up the hidden chambers of their mind. All of this was done within the secret confines of the stone statue of Salazar Slitherin. She was brought to a different room every night. He was deliberately making it impossible for her to know her way through the twisted passages.  
  
Iris learned it was best to obey the Dark Lord. He had too much control over her body. He did not even need to point a wand at her anymore. He simply willed the crucius curse into her frail form, and laughed as she fell to the ground in screaming convulsions.  
  
As the days went by she retreated more and more inside herself. Obeying, and yet diligently searching and planning for her escape. The men she was left with never carried a wand, but she checked each one while they lay on the floor recovering from her probing their thoughts.  
  
Whenever she could she would travel through the long passages within the sculpture searching for a possible way out. Every time she thought she was nearing an exit there stood Voldemort blocking her path. He would lead her away from the hope of escape and deeper within the dark tunnels of her prison. Every night she was left in a different room. She was lost.  
  
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Voldemort guided her body through the passages. She let her mind go and allowed him to telepathically lead her right up to the stone door. Pressing the knob she felt a strange familiarity rush over her.  
  
She stepped inside to see a man inside. Iris felt her blood turn cold. This man knew evil and embraced it. He was no simpleton like the ones before. That could be swayed with any sort of visible flesh. They had been tests. This was what she was made to face. "No one of consequence" she heard Voldemort slither inside her head, "but he knows how to build magical items. Find out what he knows."  
  
Iris stepped artfully into the room. The man had not yet noticed her presence. She nearly gasped. The room was the same as the one she had found during her initial exploration into the tunnels. From this room she knew the way out of the tunnels. Once outside she would simply have to take her chances.  
  
First she would have to deal with the man. It would be more difficult this time. If he gave her his hand she could control it. It would not make her weak like forcing it does. She needed those few minutes after the even to begin her escape.  
  
"What are you doing here?" She startled him out of his reverie.  
  
He looked Iris up and down suspiciously "I was sent for." His eyes narrowed. "Who are you?"  
  
"Why were you sent for?" It was best this way. To tell nothing. To show no weakness, only strength. Then they sought you. He took a step towards her, his question still looming in his eyes. "I am no one of importance. Who sent for you?"  
  
"Tell me who you are little one. I dislike questions."  
  
She smiled slightly. "My, but you are persistant." Her mouth curved into a seductive smile. "So am I." She pulled the string of her robe allowing it to fall to the floor and revealing her tautelizing dress.  
  
"I will not touch you. No one takes what belongs to Lord Voldemort. The Dark Lord owns everything within these walls."  
  
"Does he?" She took slow steady steps towards him until they were only inches apart. "Does he own you then? You are, after all, within the same walls that I am."  
  
"I serve him. Yes." His breath came out shakily. She was winning. "Whom do you serve?"  
  
"You. If you'll allow it." He drew in another quick breath. She shrugged and turned away. "Perhaps I've made a mistake." Iris stepped back allowing him the opportunity to stop her.  
  
He took her hand in his own as a strange reassurance. He gave over his mind to her almost willingly. She allowed the images to sweep through her mind scanning for anything that looked important or useful. Nothing interesting passed through except for one thing. His one creation that could hold some power, and it lay right here within her grasp. Voldemort must not have it.  
  
Iris pulled on the small chain around his neck breaking it free and shoved the strange looking hourglass into her dress. A time turner. Not approved yet by the ministry of magic. Tampering with time was extremely dangerous. It also held power beyond recognition if he had truly succeeded in its creation. There had yet to be any evidence that it even worked.  
  
Knowing Voldemort would soon be there to collect the man and return her to her room, she concentrated on blocking her thoughts from him. She formed a wall of all the other images the man had passed her. Quickly scanning the room for anything that might aide her escape her eyes fell on a long silver box, with a glass cover.  
  
A wand.  
  
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Iris' scream echoed through the vast chamber as she fell onto the cold concrete.  
  
"Stupid girl! You will never get away. Crucius." Voldemort's voice held only quiet displeasure. The curse came out almost a whisper. "Even if you had succeeded in finding a way out," He drew close to her and allowed his voice to enter her brain without even speaking, "I still have a hold on you." He began to laugh.  
  
"No matter. I have tired of you, and I crave the blood ritual. I have never heard screams so sweet." To Iris' horror he his voice began to transform into a serious of bone chilling hisses.  
  
Iris felt all of the blood in her body grow sharp and her limbs grow cold as the giant head of a snake emerged from the black depths of the otherwise still waters.  
  
Iris closed her eyes and ran all the while feeling the hideous creature's breath at her heels. Voldemort's foul laugh echoed through the room. "Stop!" He commanded. Her body tried to fought the order but she slowed.  
  
Iris knew it was over. She could not run. Not from this. "If I die I am damn well going to try to take you with me!" She felt strength return to her frail body and turning to face her captor and his monstrous weapon she drew the wand.  
  
Her curse collided with Voldemort's sending waves of green light flying in every direction. Iris felt the force of his curse enter her wand and propel her backward. As she hit the floor below her arm was crushed beneath her torso and she felt sharp pain as shattered glass entered her skin. "The time turner" her word came out in a barely audible whisper. She looked up to see another flash of green hurtle towards her and a pair of giant yellow eyes.  
  
Her body jolted backwards. Then she saw nothing. There was no snake no Voldemort, no earth. She felt her body pulled in every direction, and yet there was no pain.  
  
Blackness surrounded her as she aimlessly wandered. It seemed she was there for an eternity. Always from the corner of her eye she saw the smiling faces of students running, but when she turned she saw only emptiness. It was as the earth, air, and even life had simply ceased to exist and in its place was an absence. There is no word to describe it. It is an absence.  
  
Still those moments when she was certain a robe flashing the Gryffindor house colors caught the edge of her vision that she was certain of where she was. She was dead. This was her torment. This was her punishment for her contact with the dark arts. So as time flew by Iris continued her wanderings.  
  
Then one day she heard a dim whisper in the distance, and a weight lifted off her shoulders. She saw a light ahead and ran for it. Blinding as it was it was something amidst all of the endless absence. For what felt like years she ran towards the light as it shifted and changed. Growing and growing until it finally began to come towards her. She ran to it as it grew closer to her. Finally she felt submerged in it. Then she noticed at its core was a red ball of fire. It screamed and moaned at her. Hypnotizing her with whispers of power or pain. She could not move. It had sealed her to her spot. Within that ghastly fire she saw Voldemort's eyes.  
  
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Skye Niall, thank you for your lovely review. It made me feel better. I was having a lot of difficulty trying to describe what I saw going on. I could only think of so many ways to say...really fucking gross. :)  
  
Sinister Papaya Fondue, yeah...it was kinda hard to write like I said. I am actually really glad to be done with it. It just seemed like it had to be that way.  
  
Nerd Girl Im so happy to oblige! I must warn that my chapters will take longer now because I start school on Tues. I am going to post a note but...well what can you do!?! 


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